Gone Rawkin

The New Year

2011-01-01T14:12:00.000-08:00

I find New Year wishes interesting. So many people find this a time to bash the year that has past and put out expectations on the year coming in with great hope. "This year is gonna be GOOD" or "Lots of positive things getting better" but I don't want to buy in. I am not being skeptical I am being positively pragmatic. Sure, I had some hard time last year and if MY plan had been utilized then those hard times would NOT have happened BUT, what I have learned or what I have been forced to acknowledge in myself from going through those hard times has been invaluable. Life is not meant to be without pain and suffering. It is how we use it that moves us forward. If we deny it, hang onto it or bash it with anger then it toxifies our present and darkens our future. I say blessings to you 2010. I still pray for more ease and flow and Grace with gratitude and I hope that I will have the wisdom to find the Grace and joy in 2011 and keep my life moving forward in humility and gratitude. I still have my hopes and "plans" and I think that I know what's best for me and my kids and I am open to the Universes interpretation of the highest good of all.

In the raw food arena: In listening to these wonderful podcasts on raw I am getting some great perspective on raw food and am enjoying eating raw when I feel like it and enjoying cooked food when I feel like it. In doing so I have not melted my inner self and am experiencing my body in it's ever transitioning state. I really really love raw food. I acknowledge that so honestly. I also enjoy the convenience of cooked food right now but only once in awhile. I am eating what I hunger for. Yesterday I ate almost all raw (except for my salad dressing and croutons) until I got home and enjoyed some popcorn with my kids and a natural soda to celebrate the new year. It was a great day, I was not obsessed about food, I wasn't hungry and we enjoyed not stressing over who wants or HAS to eat what. The kids had roast for dinner but I wasn't hungry because of my big delicious salad for lunch and some yummy cheesy kale on my trip home from work. (Mmmmmm, cheesy kale)

I have also noticed that taking the dogma off of the raw food but just enjoying the moment is lightening my spirits a bit. I am beginning to engage in my pilates again. I am pushing past my ankle pain and just enjoyinhg moving my body. I am hoping that 2011 will be a year that I can just enjoy more flow of ease and Grace. Less dogma, less drama, healthier kids and more balance. I am grateful for all the UPS and all the DOWNS. What an adventure!

New perspective-new tools

2010-12-20T23:21:00.000-08:00

So with the assistance of my new iPad I have found all of these podcasts on raw and live food. WAY fun to hear all the perspectives. I had learned about raw food through limited sources and held myself to a dogmatic standard based on some od those limited sources. How fun to get other perspectives. One of the podcasts was about getting real about raw. It talked about all the dogma around raw food when in actuality it is just a different fun technology for living. Raw food is just a tool not a religion. It's not wrong or right and very few are 100% raw all the time. Most go in and out and experiment and play. It talked about it being fun. Yup, that is what I needed. I find rawkin so much fun and so exciting. I love to share the yummy discoveries and how it makes me feel. I am excited to separate out this sort of self imposed dogma I had thinking I had to live up to some standard. Imagine me a perfectionist (those who know me know how sarcastic that is because I am my own worst critic). What would it be like to just have fun?! I'm so excited to have sprouting almonds in my kitchen again. (I love those). I am so excited to have flax crackers in the dehydrator again thinking of the variety of yummy foods I get to top them with. I am so sick of the inflammation in my body and the fatigue and groggy fog. I am so looking forward to the fun of rawkin. Glad I found more resources to affirm my lighter spirit in this journey. Found a recipe for chocolate bomb too-way cool!

Good News Bad News

2010-12-19T14:46:00.000-08:00

Well, it's been awhile. I have my reasons I swear. On the timeline, some horrible things happened that I won't disclose but suffice it to say I have experienced the hardest year of my entire life. On top of my personal challenges I found out that my children are horribly allergic to nuts of almost all kinds. Apparently going raw with my kiddos was like poison and making all of their health issues worse. We stopped raw kin and sought extensive medical care. In that time through battling depression and stress I tried the HCG diet to battle the weight I was gaining. I have to say the diet is somewhat successful except that it made me extremely loathing of food and paranoid about the number on the scale. I lost for awhile but eventually the depression and stress won the pounds right back on. Now that my children have been properly diagnosed and are on the path to doing better I am beginning to come to terms with my own needs.

So, my biggest problem seems to be that I put my own needs last. I know it is a common problem with Mom's around the world. I guess the gift in my children's issues are that they are pretty extreme and I can't make it better by food or natural means at the moment. So it singles me out in a way. I stand alone. They have to eat specific foods that I do not like so it leaves me on the sidelines. I have tried eating cheap, raman noodles, potatoes, etc but it makes me feel horrible. I tried frozen meals to save on time but they make me feel groggy. I tried eating on the fly in a sort of Kerouac way of whatever comes to me I will eat but it ended up being junk. Yesterday I sat here feeling uncomfortable in my body. I don't hate my body, I bless its journey and how it works so hard to take care of me, but I feel awful. I can feel the food in me like rocks and mud. every time I eat it weighs me down. A bagel for breakfast makes me feel cloudy headed. I try different forms of protein and they all make me feel gross and heavy, they don't digest well, they slow me down. I keep hoping to find a food or a vitamin that actually gives me energy. I become desperate for energy turning to caffeine and sugar and anything that perks me up even if for just a short time. Then it dawns on me as I sit in my rotting gut, when I ate raw I felt good and I had energy. I may not have had excess energy but the food I ate did not sit in me like an anchor.

So I have decided to venture back out on my own into raw food. I'm gonna do it just for me. Imagine that, selfishly making myself feel better. I'm gonna take time to just take care of myself and I can't bring my kids into it. I can't delude myself with saying it is for them and using them to keep me on track. I have to commit to doing something that makes me feel good. I have started reading my raw food books again. I am getting excited to feel better with every bite. I know there will be ups and downs but the shift of working to just feel better is all new for me. I am good at self sabotage and I am easily swayed by the pressure of the SAD diet as it is hammered into our culture. I don't know how this will go but I am stepping back out onto a new edge, a new path hoping to feel better. I am hoping to find energy. I am hoping to stop sinking. I am hoping that as my kids grow up and their needs change, I learn to care for myself. I will let this blog know how it goes.

Overdrive

2010-03-08T10:02:00.000-08:00

I feel like my life has kicked into a higher gear but I don't think a whole lot has changed. I know that there is a bit more to juggle with doctors appointment with my kids, which means insurance, authorizations, phone calls, record keeping and gathering and so on. On top of the added "specialists" that both kids are seeing for their different challenges right now, it is the unhappy time for my son's "tri-annual" IEP. This means hours of assessments by the school district, observations, meeting before meetings then the BIG meeting in May. Add all of this into an already really busy life and trying to keep in balance with it all. My business is picking back up because of the time of year and I feel like there are days I can't really catch my breath. I just try to keep moving so I don't sink.

I love eating raw food, my BODY loves eating raw food and my whole family does better eating raw food. This fact being said, raw food takes time to prepare in order to keep it interesting, diverse and balanced. Where in the peep am I supposed to find time for this. My poor kids are getting really used to salads for dinner which isn't a horrible thing and they have fun mixing it up and adding different things.Man, I'll tell you that I reach for convenience wherever I can and sometimes it just ain't rawkin foods. I feel like I am going non stop seven days a week from 5:15am until around 10pm and then I am wiped. I wish there were a raw food drive through. I had heard that Chipotle was a decent place to get good salads and such but now it is my understanding that they have been bought by McDonalds and I do NOT want to support McD's. (yes, I will support the Ronald McDonald Houses but not McD's as a corporation).

I feel so torn and I wish doing what my body loved was easier. I wish I had a personal assistant and a housekeeper. Any suggestions on convenient healthy and fast stuff would be great. We do drop into Whole Foods for a salad on the go or some cheesy kale for car rides.

serious talks about food

2010-02-15T13:48:00.000-08:00

Starting out on the lighter notes, the quiche is delicious if you let it dehydrate-which was not in the instructions-and sit for a day. Yesterday, the consistency of the filling left something to be desired although the taste was ok. Today I re-heated in the dehydrator and the filling really did taste almost cheesy. I have to say that one quiche is SO filling. ugh. Next time I would add more spinach. The rawkin fudge is a nice treat and one piece will do ya for awhile. I made more apple cinamon cookies and the cinamon raisin balls...both are a big hit. My son whipped up a nori roll for his lunch today and my daughter made a sandwich out of flax crackers and almond butter. Everyone is quite happy.

As a family, we had a discussion at dinner last night that went on and off until bed. My daughter started it by saying she just wanted to eat the sweet treats of raw food and didn't really like the "entree" parts. We talked about the benefit of the yummy sweet treats, mostly offering protein and some offering fruits but I posed the question: where are the vegetables. Her face went blank as she tried to make dates a vegetable with no success. We talked about all of our favorite sweet treats and couldn't find a single vegetable in one. I talked to my kids about their choices and how they need to find balance. There need to be fresh vegetables and even fresh fruits. While the dehydrated yummy stuff is good and all, it doesn't offer quite the same as a cut up apple or a fresh orange.

My son asked me if most kids were taught to think like this because when he is in school and friends see his lunch or hear him talking about delicious meals they get all grossed out or insulting. I did not know exactly how to answer him. Sometimes I question my own parenting for teaching my kids the way I do. Should they know SO much. Maybe I should just boss them around, prepare their food and lunches and teach them not to question. Maybe I am making life harder for them by teaching them to question so much of their world. I know that some times I would love to be ignorant. In the realm of food alone, I would really love to eat something delicious and processed and loaded with bad things and not know it and believe it is really good for me because it says "vitamin fortified".

Later, my son came to me and asked why he misses processed food SO much. He admitted to all these time where he would sneak food and how he just couldn't stop eating it and he never felt full. I did not shame him at all but instead just asked him to think about that. How much control that processed food had over him. His father got up to almost 400lbs before he had surgery, his father's parents and brother all had to have stomach surgery and some have even gained back ALL the weight they had lost from the surgeries. Unfortunately, he needs to be aware of this, I think. He was a healthy eater for the longest time until we tried a medication for his autism and ocd stuff. The medication helped him so much but seemed to trigger something in him that has never been reversed. He ballooned up and became obsessed with food, only bread and sugary foods.

I want him to grow up healthy and aware without shame or even fear of food. It is such a fine line to walk. Leading by example is one of the best things I can do and I know I struggle with my weight. I always have struggled but I can find a stopping place. My ex husband once pulled 13 bagels out of the freezer and while toasting some ate the rest-all 13 in one sitting. I am not like that. I do eat when I feel overwhelmed or lonely as admitted in prior postings. I am working on finding alternatives to this behavior. I think it is the right thing to do to educate my kids, give them information and help guide their choices but not make them ALL. As they grow older I am supposed to make less and less, let them try their wings while still under the security of my care.

As babies and toddlers, I made all their choices. As young children I made most of their choices or limited the options. As they grow older, they go to friend's houses, they go out with friends and are accountable for themselves. They need to learn to make choices and understand the consequences. If you go to a friend's house and they offer donuts for breakfast, this could cause a consequence of sugar rush and sugar crash. In a child with autism, this is rough and more extreme. In a child with immunity challenges, this has almost always lead to cold sores breaking out. How far did that donut carry you and what are the ramifications beyond the immediate. I try to get them to notice what their choices mean.

Leading by example, I can go get a pizza and drink some soda and be quite happy-temporarily. The next day I feel gross, sluggish and out of sorts. For days I jones for similar jolts of wheat, cheese and sugar. The urges are intense at times and it is hard to get my head clear. I talk to my kids about how I feel and what I go through in order to help them feel less crazy about their own cravings. I can eat that stuff but I have to be willing to face the consequences. I think it's the right thing to do for me and my kids. I also talk about when I am raw and feeling good and when my vision seems clearer and my head seems clearer. I talk about how my body starts to crave what it really needs instead of tastes of processed junk. I talk about my better energy and easier days as well as how much clearer my sleepiness comes at the end of the day signaling to me when it is time to find a stopping point.

It is not easy being a parent. I think we always question what we do, say, teach, etc. I have many who criticize the way I do and some who compliment my process but the truth is, nobody knows how to do it right. I realized LONG ago that no matter how I parented, my kids were going to require therapy. If they never watch t.v. then they would require therapy about how mean I was for culturally stifling them. If I let them watch ALL the t.v. they wanted then they'd go to therapy and talk about how I let them zone out and disconnect. It is all shades of gray. I have NO idea what I am doing but I am doing the best that I can. I think that when it isn't easy and mind numbing it probably is in the right direction but when it feels like it is a constant battle then I might have over shot. Somewhere in the middle? Somewhere in their intelligence, listening to them as much as I want them to listen to me. Hoping for the best turnout possible.

So we have agreed that we will EACH chose a recipe for the beginning of the week that involves vegetables and again for the second half of the week. We have lots of books and on line resources so we can look and plan. They have to HELP prepare their choice and be willing to experiment. The only way we are going to branch out is to try new recipes. We also have to give the recipes more then one try...don't throw it out immediately. Like the quiche, for example, it took a day or two of re-trying to find how much I like it after it set up a while. The sweet treats are easy to like. We also have to find new ways to enjoy the fresh fruits and vegetables. On with the adventure.

Rawkin Fudge

2010-02-14T14:00:00.000-08:00

Well, I finally got around to making the quiche filling. It really is pretty good as a combo with the shell and filling together. My daughter did not like the shell alone but together she says it reminds her of the pesto stuffed mushrooms. I might try it again and add basil. The kids are more interested in me making the sweet stuff rather then the other "meal" kinda stuff. I know that the sweet stuff isn't bad for them but it just seems wrong in my head for them to eat banana crepes for breakfast, apple cinnamon cookies for lunch and rawkin fudge for dinner with a salad or some veggies thrown in here and there. I must say that I LOVE the rawkin fudge, though. It is very filling and doesn't suck you in like regular chocolate does. One piece feels so good, maybe two is all that a person can handle. Instead of nuts or frosting, I sprinkle cacao nibs on top because I LOVE them and can eat them in handfuls.

I am prepping for the upcoming week with some more flax crackers and some onion bread crackers. I made the falafels (beanless) and got a great zuke for spaghetti. I bought more pre-made cheezy kale. It's a great snack in the car. I know I can make it myself but it is SO nice just having it there and ready. I have a lot of parsley and cilantro left from the falafel so I am going to try to find something to do with it. I need more of those apple cinnamon cookies and am going to try to make these cinamon raisin balls. They look yummy, too. Oh yeah, my son requested Nori rolls for his lunch so I have the goods for that, too. Off to another week. Happy Valentine's Day! Today I practice self-love with a walk and some yumy food that loves me as much as I love it!

Late Nights

2010-02-10T14:36:00.001-08:00

Well, I finished making everybodies desires last night but it took awhile...I worked until 9pm then started on the apple cinnamon cookies for my son's bake sale, the banana crepes for my daughter and the quiche for me. When I read the dehydrator time for the quiche shells I nearly fell over, they want it dehydrated for 36 hours. One should read ahead. I had all the ingredients and I was going for it anyway. I have to say that it was almost midnight when I started the quiche shells and the process was not hard but MAN was that some serious onion juice!!! The recipe is 3 large onions, 3/4 c ground flax and 3/4 c ground sunflower seeds with some nama shoyu but I forget the exact amount. PHEW...my eyes were burning. To take THAT much onion and slice and grind it means lots of that awful gas comes out and makes the eyes BURN. Then I had to mix it...burn burn burn Then I tried to put it on the sheet and shape it into a shell...it was too wet to do anything. I did the best I could and left it until morning. I went to bed with lots of skepticism about this recipe but when I got back to the dehydrator this morning the shells were easily shaped and I felt much better. It even smells SOOO good. Unfortunately, I won't be able to enjoy a quiche until tomorrow as there is more dehydrating time required but I am anticipating something delicious!!! All in all, despite the awful tears, this might be a pretty yummy and easy thing. Could make a nice cracker or bread. Foiled by the long dehydrating time I am not sure what to eat today. May have to go exploring. I like to save the salad stuff for dinner, it just feels best. Kids have wiped out my crackers-need to make more of those oer the weekend and I am not in the mood for crepes. Hmmmm. My body continues to drop size although I refuse to get on a scale but clothes are loser and more comfortable. My face looks brighter. With only four hours of sleep I don't feel so energetic but I don't feel awful either so maybe that says something. I probably need to eat soon or it all might back fire. I will post a pic of the finished quiche once I get that far. Reviews to come soon. :) I have high hopes!

The Bake Sale

2010-02-10T14:36:00.000-08:00

My son's class is having a bake sale on Friday (of course he told me today without proper time to plan). I asked him if he wanted me to make cookies or muffins - yep, I was hoping to have an excuse to make me some chocolate chip cookies - but he started begging me to make the apple cinamon rawkin cookies. These take at least 6-8 hours in the dehydrator not to mention that I am busy the next couple of days and now need to go buy the ingredients and prep it all. I looked him in the eye and asked why he wanted those cookies. He replied, "because my friends think that raw food would be gross without trying it but I bet if they ate these and we did not tell them they are raw food then they would love it and learn that healthier food can still taste good." How can I turn down THAT reasoning. I am off to the store to buy more apples. I figure if we make them small so that they feel more like a cookie then kids will be more apt to try it. I will let you all know the feed back from the bake sale.

I am also going to make the quiche things I found. They look really yummy and my mouth is finally beginning to tire of the spinach potato latke's. Both kids are pretty much raw now. Here's my daughter's lunch menu: orange, apple cinamon cookie, veggie flax crackers with avocado, banana flax crackers with almond butter and raw honey, carrots, and sprouted almonds. How cool is that! My son's looks similar but he was being a pre-adolescent lazy snot head and didn't want to put almond butter and honey on his crackers - said he was too tired but was really busy texting his friend so he can go without. Had apple cinamon cookie, an orange and cheesy kale today so far. I need to eat something more but haven't decided what yet. Salads are our dinner tonight with sunflower seeds, tomato, carrots, olive, corn and spinach. I'm trying a new ranch dressing I found. I need to make almond milk, though so it may not happen with the ranch dressing. I have to say, I don't feel like I am "doing" rawkin, just that it is more natural and easy this time. I think that's helping the kids, too.

empty vs full vs satiated

2010-02-09T10:30:00.000-08:00

Feeling conflicted today over feeling empty and wanting to feel full. I've been doing good rawkin, feeling so much more energy and natural in my body but today I am feeling the desire to stuff and be "full". I don't know if it is a level of anxiety that I would like to numb or just feeling overwhelmed a bit with regular life stuff and wanting to distract myself or even reassure myself with feeling "full". Not really desiring a specific taste-not cheese or cereal or anything which is probably one of the only reasons I haven't acted on it. I couldn't decide what to stuff myself with. How odd it is to live life more aware of the "feelings". The stuff to numb and empty means stuff again mentality is hard to get rid of. I liked that unconscious part of eating. I'm not sure what to do about it. I guess awareness is the first step. I wonder if I can handle staying fully conscious today.

I don't say that flip or glib, it is a great coping mechanism to check out once in awhile. I kid you not, there are times that it is safest for me to go a bit numb. After a rough IEP meeting for my son, after some intense medical testing on one of the kids or an ER visit or even after one of my son's bad days where he is unmanageable, I thank the higher power for coping mechanisms. Right now, my son accidentally whacked his friend and sent him to the ER, I smell something dead in my garage but there are no rats in the traps, my daughter found a worm on the maple syrup this morning, I have a book's worth of paper work for an upcoming medical specialist visit for my daughters unresolved issues that she claims are getting worse, it's a short month with less clients and I'm not sure how I will make rent (but that's projecting too far forward), got a weird phone call last night that I think is a scam but is the second time it has been tried on me for money-could be possible identity theft involved, I need to do my taxes, the school district is working on setting up my son's tri-annual IEP testing and life is just dishing out some regular ole crap. Nothing life threatening. Just one of those days where there are no clients this morning to distract me and I would rather stuff then feel. PHEW...writing helped. I may eat one of those mint chocolate truffles and see if it helps. Chocolate is good for you, ya know. I will just keep breathing...that helps too.

Conversion Complete

2010-02-07T23:18:00.000-08:00

Well, my daughter has agreed to go "all raw" as soon as the groceries are gone in the house that are not raw. We still have some vegetarian chicken patties, some shredded cheese and other things lying around that she would like to be responsible for so as not to waste anything. I blame it all on those apple cinamon cookies. She LOVES them. It has restored her faith in rawkin food. She keeps wanting whatever I am eating and when I deny her more then a taste so as to preserve my supply for truly rawkin meals, she gets very offended. I am looking forward to getting my head into some more rawkin recipe's again. I am glad we are all converting back to raw. Leaving one in the "cooked" world is more expnsive and more confusing to us all. It's great that the whole family will be on the same page.

Today was much of the same...apple cinamon cookie for breakfast with my yummy latke sandwich for lunch and a big yummy salad for dinner. Easy day, really. I still have probably six more latkes left so I can't imagine the need to make anything new yet. I will probably need to make more flax crackers soon for the kids and the fruit leather is a big hit for packed lunches so I may have to make more of that soon, too.

One Down One to Go

2010-02-05T15:10:00.000-08:00

Showed my kids the movie Food Inc last night and my son was as affected by it as I was. He is now swearing to go raw with me completly. It just makes more sense. It doesn't mean that it isn't hard sometimes but it is SO much better. Again, I am not swearing off of regular food and I think I should make sure that my children do not swear off regular food but it should be eaten much less and only once in awhile. As my son SO passionately stated last night, it is so much better for us, so much better for our environment and so much better for our society medically and mentally.

My daughter is still digging her heels in that she is NOT going raw. I am trying new recipes that are making her jealous as she calls me "lucky" when I sit and eat my yummy rawkin food. Today I made these delicious apple cinamon cookies and she is wanting to eat them ALL but I told her if you are not rawkin then you can only have a taste because this is more of a meal for me then a snack. I got to hear the quintessential kid whine of, "ahhh". She followed her moan with, "maybe I will just do like 50% raw then. Yep, she's going to be crossing over soon. tee hee I have lots of bananas for some yummy crepes to be made this weekend, she'll be beggin for it soon!

So, I am still really enjoying those potato spinach latkes with sprouts, spinach, lettuce and tomatoes and a little honey mustard dressing. I made the walnut carrot patties but they seem very salty to me in comparison, I think it's just my taste buds are wanting the mix of flavors I have created with the latkes, so I am saving the carrot walnut patties for later. I bought ingredients to make the falafels but don't want to make them yet until my latke suppply gets low and my taste buds start to tire of them. I created the apple cinamon cookies, like I said earlier, and I have to tell you that they are absolutely scrumptious. This might be my new breakfast treat. It is simply 2lbs of peeled apples shredded with tons of cinamon, ground up almonds, raisins and agave. Holy cow are they delicious! I made some new fruit leather with strawberry, blue berry and kiwi with flax and sunflower seeds ground up in the mix. They smell dleicious too.

I splurged yesterday at my local Whole Foods and bought some chocolate mint truffles-all raw. It was well worth the splurge! The date people can't place my order until next week so I can't make my fudge yet and I needed the chocolate hit! One is very filling and satiating. On the horizon is a new recipe for mushroom quice but not ready to make it until this weekend. The book says it is freeze-able so I might freeze some for later. With my son joining in, I may not have any to freeze. :) All good! (I'm not sharing my truffles with him, though)

For What This is Worth

2010-02-04T15:31:00.001-08:00

I will warn any readers that I am coming off of watching the movie Food Inc. Obviously, by going raw, I believe that food is a key factor to health. Books and movies have impacted me as I increase my learning of what and how food does to our bodies. I enjoyed the film Super Size Me and some others like it and am always reading books on nutrition and wellness. In so doing this reading and watching it has also impacted me the cost of "industrializing food" on our economy, our environment and our health as well as our health care system. While I know this blog is about rawkin food and the journey of my family, I am begging the permission to comment briefly on this movie and it's impact.

What concerns me is how it seems that our multi national corporations seem to think it is okay to play "russian roulette" with our food. In my opinon, this is the failure of "the American Way" as we tend to thinki generalities,that if we spread only a little feces in the meat or the impact of one soy bean being genetically modified or that in one hamburger there is only a small amount of anitbiotics or hormones then it won't hurt the average person. It honestly blows my mind. When the movie stated a fact that the average person eats 200lbs of meat a year. If all of that has a "trace" amount of hormones, anitbiotics, pesticides or carcinogens then how much is in 200lbs? Then add in how much is in the milk, the cheese and in the processed food? How much is in the packaging that is not even accounted for in the levels measured? What are we doing? How can we really numb ourselves into believing this is really okay?

I was raised believing in the american dream. I was raised on the food pyramid that has been preached to us through our educational and medical system. I was raised believing that a food stamped meant it was carefully regulated and monitored-that it was SAFE. I brought that belief system into the raising of my children. With all that in mind I am opening my eyes more and more to the awareness that the american dream is antiquated and void. Our food pyramid is absolutely wrong and truly not created for the true health system of the body. I no longer believe in stamped or "regulated" food or that monitored food is anything more than a possible pay off. I open my eyes and I see growing cancer rates. I open my eyes and I see auto immune disease growing in all ages. I look around to see respiratory problems, allergy problems and unexplained health issues as well as psychological issues growing beyond measurement. I see autism on the rise from within my own family to my friends and beyond. I see mmy daughter shaking without control or reason known to doctors. I see degenerative disease taking us over as our system degenerates and fails the people it was intended to serve.

Please note that my disheartened opinion of what I thought was my american dream does not make me a communist or anything nor do I wish I lived somewhere else. I believe strongly in the values of America. I believe it is the greatest country in the world. I believe that all the best intentions were there but that they have gone wrong. It is this strong, heartfelt belief in myk country and it's values that causes this heart break. My GOD, I just want to help my country. We are crumbling in front of our very own eyes.

It seems insurmountable to change. The problem has gotten so huge that I can't imagine how to tackle changing anything. Apathy seems the best coping source. Perhaps that is why we have numbed ourselves into spending higher then we could ever afford. Have we spent our health, our food, our best intentions away as well? I look around at all that needs addressing from education to healthcare to food to consciousness and I become exhausted. Just looking around in my tiny family of three exhausts me as we seem to be spinning our wheels in all of those directions with a fight necessary in each direction I move. Denial does not work. How much longer can we shut our eyes or look away or convince ourselves that because the news anchor said it then it must be true? How much longer can we pretend we trust what we are told when deep inside us "something" is nudging us that this is all wrong. We KNOW we just don't want to know, right?

I get idealism raging in my head to go extreme and pure. I have friends and teachers who have made great steps in these directions. I am so impressed with them. I struggle between being impressed with them and selfishly holding onto that doctrines I was taught as a child about the American dream. I always laugh and say that I wanted McDonald eating Disney watching kids. More honestly, I just wanted to stay ignorant and think that it really was okay to feed McDonalds and teach my kids Disney morals. Sometimes I wish I didn't see so much. Perhaps that is why I have blind spots growing in my eyes. Sometimes I wish I could just poo poo all of this documentary stuff, research books and natural perspective away. Damn, ignornace was bliss. It's gone now.

So what do I do about it. I can tell you that I am going to make my kids watch Food Inc as I made them watch some of the other movies. I am going to keep letting them listen to books on tape about the environment, our health and nutrition. I am going to tell my kids that they are as responsible for I am to finding their truth about it all. I am going to keep trying to do better in my own nutrition, my own environmental consciousness and my own health. It seems so ginormous at times but I am going to just take it one day at a time, I guess,and hope for the best. It's all I have, really. And while I won't preach (except for maybe in a blog or so) I will try to live as an example of more conscious living-maybe not perfect but MORE conscious then I used to be every day and if asked why, I will offer the same resources that are enlightening me to wake up. I will hope that others awaken. Perhpas if more swim upstream with me then we will release the true seeds of change and regeneration. Maybe?

Still Rawkin...

2010-02-03T23:02:00.000-08:00

It has been a busy week and I feel like I am still struggling to catch up with my life after our crazy weekend. I need to find some good and yummy dates so I can make some rawkin fudge because chocolate cravings are gnarly. :) My potato latke's were good except that I made them too thin and dehydrated too long. They taste okay but they have the consistency of flat bread or cardboard. I decided to make them into bread and now I put a couple of slices of tomatoes, some alfalfa sprouts, some spinach (always spinagh...mmmm...spinach) and some honey mustard dressing in between two latkes and it is absolutely scrumptuous! Next time I make them I will make them thicker and I think that will be better.

My kids keep stealing my rawkin meals and I end up under supplied for my needs. This next week of grocery shoppipng will reflect this situation as the cooked menu drops some more and the rawkin ingredients pick up. My daughter is so resistent to it that she doesn't even realize what is happening as long as once in awhile I give her something cooked. She is the first one to beg for a bite of my meals though which makes me secretly very proud. I love that my kids crave such healthy foods. It really does go to show ya that modelling healthy behaviors changes how our kids behave.

I just watched a DVR'd Oprah about where food really comes from and her plea for everyone to eat more conscious. It was said that the best foods are fruits, veggies and grains. It's interesting how much controversy there is to grains. I know my body feels 100% better when I eat raw so I can't imagine what would happen if the whole population woke up and started to eat real food. I think I'm going to buy the book from the person Oprah interviewed called "Food Rules". He sounded right on target for me. Rule number one: Eat Real Food! I like it.

I made some carrot walnut burger patties today which smell very delicious. I am planning on making some apple cinamon cookies tomorrow morning with my brief spare time. I need to get some more almonds sprouting...my last batch was DELICIOUS! One of my clients is going to try sprouting almonds at home because of watching and tasting mine. I think I am going to have to buy ingredients to make falafel's again. I like that fresh taste and the protein is very energizing without having to invest in a whole sandwich type of experience. Falafel's you can just grab one or two and be on the way. I found a recipe for some yummy lemon stuff, too. I'll be looking at that for maybe next week. Cross your fingers that I find some good dates. Must have fudge soon!!!

Today I had my latke sandwich (actually two-one was sooo yummy) a banana and a caesar salad. I finished the day with a handful of popcorn. No yummy snacks because the kids wiped out my supply of flax crackers and fruit. Headed to the store again tomorrow. BTW, am lovin' that my pants are starting to feel loser and loser! Yay!

prep

2010-02-01T10:56:00.001-08:00

What a weekend! Busy days as I try to keep up with it all and prepare for a busy week ahead. It only takes a split second to throw things off track and mine ended up in the Emergency Room with my son. He was being a boy and hurt himself but thankfully nothing is broken except my time crunch. Thank goodness for the prep of flax crackers but I had not prepared any recipes for eating something really really substantial. I really need to get my head together and start amking some food for safe keeping. I am on the last of my fruit leather, too.

Feeling the crunch of time and low blood sugar I ate some cooked food. It wasn't awful or anything but it sure did have a different affect on me. Wow, did I feel sluggish for the rest of the day and even into the next day. UGH! It made me crave fake energy again. I wanted the kick of sugar and caffeine. I also got overwhelmed by life events-daily life events- but that just might have been the fall out from thinking your kid's back is broken. LOL My body was glad to see the fresh rawkin food I had for it and I have learned to get my act together and start thinking ahead.

I am trying a new recipe for potato spinach latkes. Seems like something that would be good for me and the children. I cut out some of the onion in order to make it more kid friendly. I will be making some walnut carrot patties later today (hopefully if I can make the time). I love those and so did both kids. I need to order some dates from The Date People. They have the BEST dates for fudge and such. I bought a NEW book called "RAWVOLUTION" which had some interesting recipe's in it but most of all had this delicious cinamon looking thing and yummy apple cookies. I'll let you know when I get time to try some. Those sound really good for breakfast. MMMMmmm.

Can't remember all the specifics of what I ate over the weekend but I knowthat besides the slice of pizza from Whole Foods, there was a lot of salad involved because it was easy and quick. I made some guac and flax crackers at one point and lots of fresh fruits and veggies. Today started out with a banana and have moved into my banana flax crackers with raw honey and raw almond butter. I cut up strawberries (2) and ate them with some raw almond butter, too. The latkes won't be ready until tomorrow so I will probably be doing flax crackers and salsa for lunch with olives-God Bless the olive! Probably salad for dinner with spicy ranch dressing. My son is moving more into the rawkin with a fresh fruit breakfast and the packing of some flax seed crackers, sprouted almonds and olives for his lunch along with a regular sandwich. My daughter is reluctantly joining in-loving the sprouted almonds and the strawberries.

Beginning to Shine

2010-01-29T09:07:00.000-08:00

Well, the last couple of days have been going very well. I have not really felt too much of a longing for "typical" or "cooked" food. I even had a client bring me a favorite yummy treasure of lemon poundcake from Starbuck's but I had no desire whatsoever to eat it so I gave it back to her. It was a nice offer but it's deliciousness would have been lost on me. I think that phenomenon is kind of bizarre. I did not even want a nibble of the frosting.

My energy is picking back up and I feel like the true "me" is beginning to emerge again. I am starting back to my full pilates work outs taking it easy on my ankle and shredded supposedly healing achille's tendon. I have not felt a desire to get on my treadclimber yet so I am not. My attitude is picking up although some of the darkness from my bad autumn experience still sweeps around me at times. It seems I have less pores open to absorb it. All in all, it feels good to have my body shrink inside my clothing size again and I feel like I am beginning to shine again. All that "prana" from the fresh food is just making life brighter.

Yesterday evening I started to count my money as bills and rent were paid and became a little stressed (a normal response) and my body is fighting off a cold that my son keeps trying to share with me so I manifested this by craving "something". I did not want an orange or a banana or even the yummy strawberries I went and got at Whole Foods. I thought about making a piece of toast but didn't. I finally broke down and ate a bowl of steel cut oatmeal. I later ate some popcorn as the feelings processed. I am not sure why I needed something inside more substantial for my body to work on in order to distract me from the stress of finances and life but I did. I still feel okay today and I think the part of being "practical" at the re-start allows for this sort of thing.

I have been loving lots of fresh foods with salads and enchiladas. I made some delicious guacamole with my surprisingly yummy flax crackers. I am still very grateful for olives. I have also been craving a lot of water with lemon but I think that is my body seeking help in detoxing. I am going to have to do some food prep soon, just not sure which way to go yet as the cravings of recipe's have not quite set in. Perhaps this teeny tiny bit of a cold is keeping my senses off and nothing really sounds good. I'll let you know what's on tap. I got a great zuke for dinner tonight and some yummy tomatoes so I'll see if I can get some good spaghetti out of it. Working a lot at night lately is kind of throwing the whole dinner food prep out of focus, too. Some interesting things to sort through.

jealous much?

2010-01-26T21:26:00.000-08:00

Well, my body is loving the raw food. My son and I were discussing how we are feeling and we agreed that our boredom, emotions and mouth kinda want regular food but our bodies are CRAVING the raw food. He said when he eats it he feels like his body is just saying, "MORE, MORE, MORE". He ate all my yummy flax crackers that I packed for our evening errands and my banana and my fruit leather. I told him that he is eating my suppply and he whined in that pre-teen way about how much he L O V E D my food. I told him he could cross over to the "other side" and rawk with me. "But I love tortellini and pizza, too" he groaned. "I'm so jealous that you can just eat all of this delicious food and I am eating sandwiches and cereal bars".

You have no idea how much I wanted to laugh out loud hard and proud. I asked him if we could dabble once a week in tortellini or pizza would he walk on the rawkin side with me and without hesitation he agreed. BWAH HA HA! He is MINE! I am happy because affording regular food and rawkin food is expensive. When one is just eating raw the satiation stops the desire to stuff and stuff your face. Eventually it evens out and less but better food is consumed and the grocery bill goes DOWN. Now to convert my daughter a little harder-I see rawkin cheese cake in the near future. *ringing of hands in manipulative contemplation*

Personally, not feeling as much of that longing to be stuffed feeling. My body is starting to crave healthier foods and salad bars are totally exciting again!

Food today was all about easy and on the go: an orange, an apple, a banana, a delcious salad with spinach and tomatoes, carrots, corn, celery, brocolli and spicy ranch dressing, flax crackers, fruit leather and a caesar salad for dinner followed by an apple and a fruit leather.

Shifting

2010-01-25T14:45:00.000-08:00

This may sound crazy but I can feel my body shifting back into gear! It's strange because there is a piece of my brain that misses that stuffed but unsatiated feeling. Some sort of comfort in that feeling of "I can't eat another bite but if I could I would". Talk about clarity! My body is getting clear again. I feel satiated completely but NOT stuffed. My body is remembering this feeling but there is a process to allowing the shift back to healthier patterns to happen. The food is SO delicious and flavor-full. Oh my goodness do I love the favor of REAL FRESH food! It is so much better then the processed stuff. And I must say thank you to the Higher Power for olives! Great snack food on the go.

By the way, I did make the most delicious flax cracker ever...downside...I have no idea what all is in it. ARGH! I know it was a mix of golden and dark flax soaked. Braggs Amino Acids, sea salt, onion (I think) carrots, spinach, lemon, garlic and maybe the kitchen sink. I dehydrated it very very thin. I put a little tomato, spinach and avocado on a bunch of these and meltwd into heaven!!! My enchilada was delicious after a busy morning running only on one delicious orange I found at Whole Foods. Last time I was there I got some really good produce! Yummy caesar salad for dinner and the day is done. My son can;t wait for more Nori Rolls.
Not sure what tomorrow will bring except maybe some zuke squash spaghetti. Definitely more yummy crackers!

2010-01-24T12:23:00.000-08:00

What can I say, it was an awful autumn and I let everything good for me go away. I am not a victim, it wasn't taken from me. I am not full of excuses but I am sure it wouldn't be hard to justify myself with some whoppers. I was struggling with staying raw while dating and something happened that made me release my grip on it and everything else. This isn't the time or place to go into the details of what happened but you will just have to trust me that I had my reasons. Phew, they were big.
My kids and I agreed to try the S.A.D. diet through the holidays. Yes, the "Standard American Diet" with meat and everything. We had been vegetarian for awhile and before that gluten and cassein free so we had never tried the S.A.D. type of holiday. I have to say, I do not regret a thing...turkey and stuffing and home made cranberry sauce, well worth the gross out of meat and fat and so forth. I made my Grandmother's carmelled walnuts as Christmas presents and enjoyed the leftovers quite dearly. Mmmm... We made roasts and soups and stroganoff and all kinds of things we had never tried. I even found a delicious recipe for turkey chili for leftovers and I have NEVER liked chili before but LOVED this!!!! As the days turned colder our over and stove and crock pot warmed the house and the heart.
So, there's the up side of the S.A.D. way. It was nice BUT I do not feel as good. I gained weight back. My energy level plummeted. I can hardly get out of bed some days. My body feels bloated and sluggish all the time. I look forward to quick fixes for energy like caffeine and sugar. I crave sugar foods in the afternoon to get me through. I forgot that this is how it used to feel ALL the time. I miss my fresh food. A salad or a fresh fruit once in awhile started to become elusive. When you buy a lot of meats and breads and cheeses it is very expensive and tacking in fresh organic produce makes the food bill higher. Then, the kids turn to chips, crackers, breads and cheeses before they turn to carrots or apples. Where did my kiwi lovin' kids go?
My son became addicted to food. It has become a family joke that he sneaks into the pantry and steals food. All of a sudden you can hear off in the distance of the kitchen "c r r r u u n ch" coming from the shadows of the pantry and he will walk around with his cheeks puffed out stuffed with food he thinks nobody is noticing. I would find empty chip bags lying like carcasses along side empty cracker boxes in this graveyard of food packaging. His desire to exercise went away and he only moves his body to go play outside with his sister or throw and autistic fit. My daughter grew back her obsession for cheese and basically lives for her next fix. In the pre-adolescent world of an almost ten year old girl, mix in a cheese fix with hormonal swings and you got an ugly combo.
So, I woke up a couple of weeks ago and realized what has over taken us is the sluggish result of our eating. We were better rawkin. We were healthier rawkin. We were happier and more balanced rawkin. While rawkin food was a lot of work, it was not an addiction or an obsession. The work was worth it. I decided to approach the children with this fact. I simply said at a sit down family meal, "I miss our rawkin food" and immediately got, "NOOOOOO!" Laughing out loud, I could see this would be tougher than I thought.
I decided to divide and conquer. I seized the moment with my son alone in the family room a week or so later and said, "what would you think if I decided to go raw again?" and he stood still, afraid to move. I could see the wheels turning in his head as he battled with his response. My son loves me and respects me (yes, he's not quite a teenager yet) and wants me to be healthy and knows that I want him to be healthy. He KNOWS that raw food was so dang good for us that he can't argue the value and benefits of it. On the other hand...the boy loves the crackers and chips. He loves that salty processed food taste. His face began to wrinkle and ripple as he tried to hold back tears. I put my hand on his arm as he stood there and said, "but I love food soooo much, Mom." My heart broke. I questioned everything I am as a mother for the bazillionth time. What am I doing? What have I done? What have I turned into? What have I turned them into? Why did I have to learn about raw food? Why can't I be ignorant and believe our stupid food pyramid that the processed food companies want us to believe? Why can't I just numb my children in McDonalds and Disney like every other average Mom in America? I reassured my son that I would not ever force him to do raw food and that I would love him no matter what he ate and allowed the subject to drop.
My daughter was not as contemplative when I hit her up for a response. Her statement was “raw food is disgusting!”. There was no question about it, she was hooked on the S.A.D. way of life. I would have to be subtle with her and let her cross over on her own. A kid like my daughter can not be forced to do something without then needing to resist constantly. She needs to buy in. I could see I had my work cut out for me.
Last week I announced that I would be returning to raw food. There were grumbles but no screaming and running away. I left it at that. I kept the emphasis on myself. I brought it up again a few days later and said that while I was going raw I would not force anyone to go raw with me but that I would limit some of the processed food choices and bring in healthier alternatives in their stead. I explained that chips would no longer be available nor would crackers. This met gentle resistance but found agreement eventually. I also explained that I would not go 100% raw at first. I would gently and practically work my way back into it. I would have oatmeal available and I would allow sandwiches for school lunches but that cheese would eventually disappear. I also offered that dinner would be a non-raw choice. Heads bobbed up and down with hesitant agreement.
So I needed to assess the damage of allowing seeds and nuts to sit for six months. I am hesitant a bit because I am sure some have lost some of their flavor if not gone rancid but I am also thrifty (the nice word for cheap) and do not want to buy a whole new stash. I started with the flax seed. Examined thoroughly, they seem okay. Almonds check out too. So, here we go.
As I began grinding up flax seeds the excitement began to return to me. I forgot how much I love preparing raw food. I got all excited about my eternal search for the yummiest rawkin cracker. I forgot how much I love to think about the REAL flavor of food and how to combine it to make delicious treats. The energy came back as I played in the possibilities. What if I add this? What if I combine that together? SOOOOO much fun thinking about it again. I started to remember my favorite recipes…yes, the enchilada popped up highest. As I started to get excited something changed in my children.
“Hey Mom, can you make the cheesecake?” chirped the biggest vote of dissent.
“Oh and Mom, are you going to make the Nori Rolls?” said my son.
I knew this was a fragile time and I needed to be agreeable so I offered to make whatever they wanted as long as they promised to eat it and not let it go bad. Suddenly the enthusiasm for raw food returned. Bwah ha ha ha ha. The S.A.D. way is not match for a mother’s enthusiasm.
I grocery shopped and got the goods for their favorite recipes and mine. I have flax seed crackers of three different varieties (experiments) in the dehydrator that I dragged out of the pantry, dusted off and plugged in. We are on our way. I started our day today with fresh fruit as I grumbled about being too tired to cook breakfast yet. As they munched on their oranges begging for more fruit I laughed and teased them about wanting me to go raw. “Gosh, you guys are so pushy about making me go raw, stop it!” I later made them scrambled eggs to hold up to my end of the bargain. Tomorrow will be another story. Gently tip toeing into this is key.
I have corn thawed and ready to make tortillas for my enchiladas. I have flax seed crackers and fresh spinach and avocado and tomato to put on it. I have other flax crackers slightly sweetened with raw honey and cinnamon ready for almond butter and banana. I have raw nori rolls ready for cauliflower bits, sprouts, mushrooms and tomato for my son’s lunch tomorrow. (I’m such a good Mom to make his favorite) I have bananas ripening for my daughter’s favorite banana crepe. Oh yes, I’m gonna make her beg for it. Bwah ha ha. I have enthusiasm again.
I am a little trepidatious at the detox and challenge ahead in only going part way and still cooking regular food for the kids at times. I think the half way stuff is harder then full steam ahead but I think it is important to be practical and gentle with the transition for the kids and also for myself. It is hard to go to a friends house and see the different foods. It is challenging to do this. Our culture revolves around food. We have friends over for dinner. We go out for coffee. We are barraged with commercials about food and diets. The S.A.D. is EVERYWHERE and well marketed. We must start our swim upstream gently, playing in the current and splashing about with joy in order to grow the strength to better health. At least I think that’s what we should do. What do I know, really. Just trying to be practical.

I've fallen and I can't get up!!!!

2009-08-26T10:58:00.000-07:00

So, seriously...(sorry guys) ...pms and rawkin food are HARD!!! Monday I was craving food...food...food. It was ugly, frankly. It probably did not help that my beautiful pre-teen daughter had a horrible hormonal adolescent day and rubbed me raw a bit (excuse the pun) . By the end of my afternoon I was ready to eat a whole pizza and swallow some capn and coke to make it all humb and happy again. Instead, I went with a friend to Olive Garden and custom ordered some tortellini alfredo. UGH. First of all, their tortellini is HUGE!!! It was delicious and wonderful and satisfied every craving I had. We contemplated dessert but opted out (thank goodness!). If it's any consilation I ate a delicious salad first-but it's really not...LOL.

So, there you go...I fell off the wagon. Yes, I came home and am back on raw but oh my is it hard!!! All I want is MORE tortellini. It hurt my stomach and made me feel a little buzzed for a while but I still want more...more....more!!! I feel like I cheated on my children. Today, the cravings are worse! I want Lucky Charms and milk. I still want MORE tortellini and a bagel with butter and salt. I bought a couple of new rawkin books which look really good and have some new recipes I want to try. I am looking forward to it!

Was craving more pasta last night and almost broke down and made something but instead whipped up some rawkin guacamole and ate it instead. It satiated me. It was a good choice. :)

Oh boy, wish me luck. Para menopause and pms-ing every two weeks is rough. I have heard that Maca stuff helps this so I am going to get some and see if it will regulate the hormones a bit. I thought just going raw would do it but it doesn't seem to be enough yet. Maybe over time things will regulate but MAN, I have NEVER pms-d so hard! Can she do it??? Will she make it??? We shall see. I have eaten two oranges trying to satiate the sweet cravings. LOL That's like trying to substitue a hot fudge sunday with grapes...no WAY! LOL

BTW, kids and school lunches are going great! Both kiddos seems to have plenty to eat, even left overs that they nibble on the way home. I think my daughter is starting to lose weight which started to concern me since she's already so skinny so I made sure she's eating more proteins. She's such a "vatta" she would just whisp away on fruits and veggies. Gotta ground that girl with some nuts. LOL And so...we rawk on.

Tools of the Trade

2009-08-23T23:16:00.000-07:00

Well, I don't know where I would be without my handy gadgets. I have found that it makes a BIG difference in the taste depending on the gadget used and HOW that gadget was used. I suppose I should run down my list of handy dandy rawkin gadgets before I launch into the differences in their utilization.

My biggest handy dandy items is my 9 tray dehydrator. It's big and has mesh sheets that are square and it can dehydrate at several temps making it easier to adjust depending on what I am making. I also got 9 teflex sheets to use which increased the original purchase amount but was worth it in saving me lots of hastle with saran wrap or wax paper. They are reuseable, easy to wash and quite multi functional. The dehydrator sits on my counter and when it is turned on the fan can be annoying until you learn to tune it out a bit but I am glad I got the 9 tray because I try to fill it up and then run it instead of doing a little bit and a little bit more and a little bit more. Last night and all day today all 9 trays were pretty much full. I think it is more economical and less electricity to load it up reather then doing little bits at a time and leaving it running. It cost more at first but I think I am saving more by doing that. Could be my own delusions and please do not snap me out of it. :)

My second handy dandy tool is my food processor, another essential tool. Now, I don't have one of those expensive kinds and I really don't need to get one until this one dies. I will probably upgrade when I need to because it does struggle to make the rawkin fudge (and rawkin fudge is an essential part of life) but still gets the job done. I would love one with varying speeds or something adjustable.

I started this journey long long ago on my own with a regular blender but quickly found from my initial classes that the blender makes a BIG difference. I saved up for the Vita-Mix and it is well worth it. Honestly, it makes a big difference in a lot of my recipes. I don't know if it's the texture-smoother feels more comfortable or if getting things smoother brings out more or different taste. I don't care, I'm glad I got the Vita Mix.

I use a spiral slicer which is much better then a cheese grater or mandolin or even julienne slicer in making either angel hair pasta or fettucini. The long thin slices make it more convincing for the mouth.

I broke down a while back and bought an inexpensive but adjustable coffee grinder which I used for grinding flax seed and sunflower seeds. Well worth the purchase for sure. I wouldn't use the one you might actually some day use to grind actual coffee beans in...the seeds tend to build up a little oil and it needs to be cleaned at times.

I broke down recently and bought a mandolin because I tried to make ravioli and the actual ravioli part is supposed to be made with something sliced very thin and even and it was nearly impossible to do with anything other then a mandolin.

I have had for years a chopper which I love and is sometimes quite indespensible as is my egg slicer, great for olives and mushrooms.

I started with a wooden citrus juicer which I still use on occasion but I recently upgraded to a twist hand one that catches seeds and lets me do three or four lemons at once. I got tired of filtering seeds out all the time. I know there are electric ones but I like the idea of doing it by hand.

So, those are my main gadgets. Flax crackers taste very different if you grind the seeds up first, or if you dehydrate them at higher temps. The difference in the toaster tarts from the food processor to the Vita-Mix is AWESOME! The food processor left them lumpy and bumpy and kept some of the wheat berry sprout taste-a little greenish ( like grass) but the Vita-Mix chops it all and really gets it wonderfully smooth. I will try to take pictures and put them up in the near future so that you can see what some of these tools look like. I think if you go to some raw food websites, they are probably available there.

Today I found a new yummy and happy mouth recipe. I made the carrot pecan burgers from Alissa Cohens book. If you want the recipe, let me know and I will share. What a happy yummy food. Actually tastes like a veggie burger. I think I might have made them too thin but after this initial trial, I am going to make more tomorrow and just keep them on hand. Both the kids loved them. They are good plain but would also be good between two romaine lettuce leaves with some avocado and tomato. I made more tortillas for enchiladas and took some of the mixture and spread it really thin to try to make corn chips, I might have gone too thin with it because as it set up in the dehydrator there were cracks in it like the desert. LOL I didn't try it in the Vita-Mix this time like I wanted to but I tried extra long times in the food processor. I'll let you know how it turns out. I made lots of flax crackers and was disappointed that I forgot to grind the seeds first-which I really like. Oh well, there will be plenty more opportunities. Made the toaster tarts again but am dehydrating at a lower temp due to other recipes and they are really taking a long time. Got banana-strawberry crepes for my daughter's first day back at school. Also made cinnamon rolls and almond milk, always a big hit for the kids. Big difference in the dates from Whole Foods and the ones from The Date People. I can't wait until the Date People have crops ready to sell again. I have more sprouted wheat berries then I can handle so tomorrow I will make muffins out of them. I also plan on making chocolate chip cookies tomorrow. The recipe I have calls for a made up chocolate chip out of apricots and raisins but I am going to try it with just cacoe chunks in it and see how it tastes. I am lovin the rawkin cacoe. I have decided that there is something I could add to the corn tortillas but haven't exactly figured it out yet. Could it be cumin? I'll let you know next time it comes up. I am also getting ready to experiment with some salad dressings. I liked a honey mustard one that I found but want something a little different now. Tomorrow is the first day back at school for my daughter. She packed up her RAWKIN lunch so I'll let you know how it goes with food preservation, her hunger level and all.

Rawk ON! :)

learning the keys

2009-08-23T00:30:00.000-07:00

One of the things I am learning is that I can't get too busy and stop focusing on the rawkin food. Unfortunately with rawkin food, you can't call and order it and have it delivered to your door like the pizza place. Rawkin means, I have to make sure we don't run out of crackers, we don't run out of a fresh supply of fruits and veggies and I don't get too tired to whip something up now and again. When these things happen, temptations come into play.

I become tired and tempted to just have ONE meal quick and easy. If I haven't made enough travelling snacks or enough varieties of travelling snacks then we all become tempted to go through a coffee shop drive thru and get salads with dressing and croutons and cheese...glorious...bad cheese. After a long day of work and then running errands, ending with the grocery store, it is SO easy to think of all the yummy, processed, bad-for-you foods that could satiate my exhaustion and programmed tasted buds. Suuuuuggggaaarrr. Want a donut and coffee? Want pizza and coca cola? These things will give fake energy and help me get all that I need to accomplished tonight. I hear a voice telling me..."just one, it's your friend, you are so tired and you know that this will help give you energy..." NOOOOOOO!

This week poses our first real test with the kids going back to school. We shall see how we all handle it. In the dehydrator are more flax, cinnamon, apple and honey crackers, flax and veggie crackers and banana puree'd for strawberry crepes. I have wheat berries ready to go for toaster tarts, I have almonds soaking for cinnamon rolls, I have corn for tomorrow to make more tortilla's and some chips, I am going to try the pecan burger, make some more falafels and maybe more. Will be an adventurous day tomorrow. Wish me luck. We rawk on.

Easy Day

2009-08-19T23:45:00.001-07:00

Still suffering the stomach distress from yesterday's non-rawkin adventure, it was easy to stay focused on raw food today. It was also a busy day of work so my mind did not have much time to wander. Tonight we made veggie Nori rolls with raw nori rolls. My son LOVED them but my daughter did not. I stayed on track with the enchiladas-not wanting to waste those delicious tortilla's I made. Honestly, they make my mouth SO happy. I ate one of the kid's toaster tarts this morning and was quite pleased with it. It most definitely is not a pop tart, nor is it a yummy muffin from your local coffee store but it was rawkin delicious.

I think my next adventure will be tweaking the tortilla's-maybe putting them in the vita mix to make them smoother. Not sure what to make next. I want to try something new. Oh, wait, I am going to make the pecan burgers. I have all the ingredients and am looking forward to trying it. I think it is time for some more morning muffins so I have wheat berries in process of sprouting. We have mushrooms marinating in Nama Shoyu to make some more pesto stuffed mushrooms by my daughter's request. Since the last two recipes we tried were not big hits for her, I thought I'd give in and make one of her favorites AGAIN. I really like those enchiladas and will be prepping more of those.

A client came in hungry so I dished her up some rawkin food and she loved it. She couldn't believe I had made everything I was feeding her. As she's eating one of the flax crackers with some rawkin guac, she asked, "so where's the protein?" What part of nuts, seeds, veggies and fruit does not include protein. NUTS and SEEDS!!! In three crackers plus a cinnamon honey flax cracker smeared with almond butter and raw honey, she got a TON of protein!!! It's funny how people just overlook that part of this nutrition.

My only wish is that weight would fall off of me as fast as it is falling off of my son. Please Rawkin fairies...let my wish come true! :)

Calculated Crash and Burn

2009-08-18T22:42:00.000-07:00

Well, we did it! The kids and I went out to dinner and purposefully ate NON raw. The kids wanted to see what it would be like and I, in my para menopausal nightmare was craving meat...I hate meat...why would I crave it? We went and got a burger for me, a veggie burger for my son and a quesadilla for my daughter. Normally when we pull up to this restarant, we love the smell but not this time. It was SO interesting how the smell seemed gross and greasy. My son said it smelled like chemicals.

We ordered an appetizer and after a few bites each one of us could not stomach it. It tasted horrid. Normally, my kids would be shovelling that particular appetizer into their faces like they hadn't eaten in two months but not this time. When our dinners came we all gave them a fair try. My daughter, who LOVES cheese and had been craving it terribly did not eat even half of her quesadilla. My son picked apart his veggie burger and really ate mostly the vegetables. By the end of his meal he said that it tasted awful and everything seemed rancid or rotten. I dove into my burger following my strange hormonal craving and tried so hard to enjoy it. It seems that my memory of this particular meal was WAY better then the actuality of it. No kidding, it just seemed so icky in my mouth. Where was the taste? I used to LOVE this stuff.

When it was time to go, the kids and I started our trek out to the car and I felt like I had a huge rock in my stomach with another rock inside that. The kids were exhausted and complaining about how far away the car was from the door. I told them that this is how we used to eat but MORE. They complained and said that they regretted wanting to try this experiment. Both kids ended up in the bathroom shortly after coming home. From this day forward we are hardcore...no croutons on salads, no chips, no NON raw food that would cause us to crave "the other side"...lol. I felt dragged down, blurry eyed and gross all night. I'm gonna have to work out a lot tomorrow to clear some of this junk out of my body. What an interesting experience. Rawkin just feels WAY better. I sort of knew but I didn't really know. Now I know!

Today we made Rawkin enchiladas. They were the most happy thing I have put in my mouth. So much flavor! The tortillas came out awesome and putting fresh raw veggies in was just delicious. My son liked it except he's losing a tooth so the corn kept sticking to his teeth and made him very unhappy. My daughter said it wasn't a big hit for her. The apple, honey, cinnaamon flax crackers are GREAT with almond butter and honey on them. It has become her favorite so far. She's gotten so good at just packing a little lunch bag with her wherever she goes so that if she's hungry she can pull out some fruit or a cracker or a fruit leather. I like that she's learning to reach for good foods.

We are hardcore Rawkin from now on!

Discoveries

2009-08-17T20:46:00.000-07:00

I am sort of getting addicted to trying something new or trying something I knew different. It's like a whole new world, this raw food stuff. It's not enough to make delcioius flax crackers but I get to play at "what if I do this???" and then it turns out different. I have never had so much fun cooking in my life. For example, instead of putting the flax seed stuff in the food processor, I put it in my Vita-Mix which almost killed the poor blenderbut it made a completely different texture to the cracker which made it really yummy. We did the same with toaster tarts-which the blender was much more agreeable to, and they turned out SO smooth and really like bread. I think with those, I need to turn up the temp on the dehydrator in order to get the crust to be crisper. It's all experimentation.

We found that blue berries in fruit leather, while still good, are not as good as kiwi fruit or peaches. Something about the tart makes them yummy. We found that putting peaches in the muffins is not as good as putting bananas. The kids report the peaches to make them too sweet. Imagine that?! I've tried several different pesto recipes and figured out the less zesty one hits our preference. We tried mashed potatoes-not a good thing. FYI, cauliflower did not make it as a potato substitute for me. I tried chicken fingers but they tasted more like bad corn flakes. I am hoping to achieve a good pecan burger later in the week. It is so much fun to experiment. There are SO many recipes out there and variations. Once you get started playing, the possibilities are endless. Trying one recipe gives me an idea for another recipe or tweaking something I've already tried. This is RAWKIN fun! So many discoveries!

Busy evening with work so we just did salad again for dinner but the kids topped their day off with peach pie. Soaking almonds to make almond milk and maybe some almond raisin cookies tomorrow. Bought some alfalfa sprout to try out the Nori rolls. Also have wonderful looking tortillas to make enchiladas tomorrow. I am SO excited about those. I will post pictures of that for sure! My daughter is reporting that she may never go off raw food-and she was the one most pensive about trying raw. She has also reported her taste buds are getting more sensitive and the dressing was too much for her tonight so it is time to start letting up on the saltier stuff and let the true taste of food come through more. How cool is it to hear a 9 year old become so aware! I'll let you know what we discover tomorrow! :) RAWK on!

Need to Go Hard Core

2009-08-15T23:18:00.000-07:00

Due to the family getting so shakey yesterday on cravings, I decided to read up on Rawkin diets. The one thing that hit me hard in my reading was that going "mostly" raw makes it SO much harder then going 100% raw. Something about the philosophy that eating SOME cooked foods, even a little, keeps you connected to them and cutting them out makes a clean break for your body and mind. Supposedly the cravings go away and stay away after a few days to a week of 100% raw. I can see how that would make sense.

My daughter especially was so pensive about RAWKIN that I agreed to not go hard core on the family. I allowed the steel cut oatmeal and brown rice. I even allowed croutons in salad and organic tortilla chips on occassion. I had leftover saltine crackers-a mother's staple food for stomach virus problems that float in and out of a house, and I caught my daughter eating a few of those one day. She is especially staying connected to "the other side". This might be why days like yesterday were so much more dramatic for her.

I also was worried that going hard core on kids would shock them into absolute disapproval. Going slow, although more painful in the craving department perhaps, was easier in the mental and emotional department. Pre-teens especially need to "buy-in" to the journey because one wrong turn and they will assert their little unfiltered, arrogantly ignorant, hormonal based wills and may not try it again until they are 37. By conceding to their having some control on this process with oatmeal and brown rice, I gave them the power to make this journey with me. As the weeks have gone on, my daughter has announced that foods she didn't like weeks ago she now really loves. The flax seed crackers were "disgusting" to her when we began this journey together and today she ate 6 of them at lunch and a few with almond butter and honey for a snack. (This whole time, I have been insisting that she eat one a day) She has actually requested more! (of course I have to remember what in the world I put in that last batch...oh well...it's an adventure) She even ate sliced tomato today and has NEVER done that. So, I think the time has come to take the final step...go hard core.

We talked about it tonight and have agreed that as the non-raw things run out, they will not be replaced. It is for the good and sanity of the whole family to see what it is like to be 100% RAWKIN. No cheating. We also talked about how good we are all feeling, in general. My daughter is reporting that her tremors, while still there, seem to be less. My son is reporting better energy. I don't know that I have more energy but I really do feel better in my body. How good we feel is really motivating us to keep going. It really is great to have the kids support and for them to feel my support of them. I am finding that really talking with my kids and getting them in on the reasoning, the science behind food, raw nutrition and health is really making us closer. They seem to trust me more and are opening up to my hopes for us as a family and individually.

They are beginning to ask questions about why food is so processed and why people don't change more when it is proven to be more detrimental to the health of the body. They are asking why people stay sick. My ex-husbands mother is fighting cancer and I have talked to her about going raw and different methods of bettering her nutrition and she has refused. I figure that she doesn't want to LIVE a different way and that's her choice but I think kids don't understand as easily. To them, it is more simple and black and white, "if this MIGHT help, why wouldn't she try it?" So much research and science out there on all sides and what I am telling the kids is that everybody is making the best choices for themselves with what they want or can handle. There are many who would disagree with me on my choices as much as I would disagree with the guy at the McDonald's drive thru right now but it is HIS choice and mine is MY choice. I am so proud to have an opportunity to teach my kids this level of difference and acceptance.

This morning we made juice with apple and carrots but it was too sweet for me so I added broccoli, cucumber, ginger and celery to balance it out. The kids and I worked out together which was a lot of fun and a weekend treat. They made a yummy banana strawberry pudding for breakfast with dehydrated sprouted buckwheat. Lunch for them was the last of the veggie falx crackers and raw almond butter. I later made up some more guacamole which was delicious! Dinner went awry as I had left the mushrooms in the fridge too long-bad planning-so we had a delicious salad with sunflower seeds and hemp heart. My son went off to a play date where they were having spaghetti for dinner so I whipped out a pizza crust and threw on some toppings and he was happy as can be. I have almonds and dates soaking, wheatberries srpouting, buckwheat sprouting, walnuts soaking and flax seeds soaking for tomorrows mass food prep. We are runnning out of basics and I need to dig in and build our stock piles back up. I am finding that we are eating less and less and the concept of the S.A.D. and 3 meals a day is beginning to fade. I am glad we have begun this journey before school starts so we can figure out our own rhythym with Rawkin. We RAWK on!

It's Been a Hard Days Night

2009-08-14T21:33:00.000-07:00

I think I made it through the day but I won't know officially until I fall asleep. I had no clients today so my focus was on paper work and phone calls, emails and faxes. The slower pace and need for self initiative made the munchies and cravings sit on my shoulder all day long like an evil gremlin. Gotta tell you, I was NOT craving fresh fruits and vegetables. I was NOT craving delicious and nutritious flax seed crackers. I was craving bagels, Cheez-Its, pretzels and even the lowerst of the crackers reserved only for tummy upsets and historically partnered with bubbly drinks...saltines. What was it today that made me crave breads?

I am trying to cut my work outs to every other day in order to maintain a healthier balance in my life and body since I was getting fatigued exercising 2 hrs a day every day. Today was a non-work out day. Every time I looked in the mirror I felt fat which didn't help my cravings at all. What is with feeling fat making me want to eat MORE?! That is such a backward response and yet one that is very common beyond myself. I was a good girl and ate my orange for breakfast and a salad with delicious raw falafel balls in it for protein. I snacked on a couple of red bell pepper crackers and some olives (thank you God for olives) and finished the night off with another salad with sunflower seeds and hemp heart on it. I am satiated. That is the best I can say. I am NOT hungry and for the moment, my cravings have subsided enough to allow me to write about them. There was a point there when the pizza delivery guy was vibrationally on notice.

I broke down and told the kids how I was struggling and they admitted feeling the same way. It must have just been one of those days. By late afternoon and early evening we were all snapping at one another. I called a spade a spade and told them that we need to make a decision to pull together and support each other or pull out and go to our rooms until the cravings passed. We decided to pull together and support each other. This is when the can of olives was opened and feasted upon. The stressed muscles in our faces began to relax and smiles returned.

We did the unthinkable and decided to grocery shop on our weakest day. My thought was that if I wake up tomrrow feeling this way, I am not sure how long I can be this strong to muddle through and we were out of bananas, the store must be conquered soon. We went to our local Whole Foods and parked nearest to the produce door so as not to be tempted by the bread sitting in waiting at the other door. We filled our basket with lovely organic fruits and vegetables. We went to the bulk section to buy a few types of nuts and the jelly beans (natural and yummy) called to me. I think I even heard them tapping their little hardened shells on the plastic bin to get my attention but I stayed focused. The chip aisle holds more raw nuts at the end and since the bulk section was out of pine nuts we had to bare the torture of the chip aisle. My poor son tried to talk me into several different kinds but I stayed strong for him. We ended our grocery trip in the raw food aisle where we found scrumptious raw food cookies which I held out of the grocery bag and offered as a reward if we made it to the car without buying or eating someothing, ney anything,, we would regret later. Oh how we cherished those cookies. They really were delicious!

We came home and my daughter, fatigued from being so good all day, had a pre-adolescent melt down that made no sense, admittedly by her. Just one of those hormonal moments for a pre-teen when she needed to cry and be mad and then cry some more. I think at that point the whole family would have liked a bowl of chocolate chip cookie dough. The hardest part about RAWKIN is that there are no buffers. Gotta face those dang emotions head on, no crutches, no escapes, no cheese to numb ya, no sugar to stimulate your brain away from the issues, just life and it's ups and downs...head on. So when the storm had basically passed, I got up and moved away from the kitchen.

My daughter has since pulled herself together and we have hugged and both kids have gone off to bed. I still need to go turn off all the lights around the kitchen and lock it all up. I am feeling strong enough to go do that as long as I don't stop and get sucked in by the television. On a night like this, t.v. would call me and then the pantry would begin to whisper at me like the amityville horror house..."eat something"..."pssst, eat something..." It can get scarey in my head. Thank goodness tomorrow I will work out again and we will end our day trying a new recipe for peach pie. I will let you know how it goes. My daughter did not notice but we did not buy anymore oatmeal so there may be an oatmeal d.t. meltdown to follow in a day or so. In my defense, the oatmeal is in the cereal aisle and cereal is my absolute biggest weakness. Stay tuned as we RAWK on!

Plus and Minus Rawkin

2009-08-13T19:07:00.000-07:00

Today we ate pizza! It actually was delcious! The new crust recipe is WAY better then the first one we tried. I think it is better when the crust is really thin as opposed to the thick like the "bloody lamb" that my son made. He had so much fun making that and eating it that he didn't mind how thick it was. My daughter complained because she still has a bad taste in her mouth from the first pizza experience but she ate it all without leaving a crumb so I don't quite believe her complaints.

So the good part of rawkin is that I can see my son finally losing some weight he put on when he tried a new medication over a year ago. We stopped the medication after four months because in that time he put on 24lbs. He has been very upset and wanting to lose the weight since then and has exercised with me with that goal in mind. He is a very active kid so exercise has never been a problem. I am a strict mean mother who doesn't want kids to get sucked into tv, computer or video games. Kids are supposed to move their bodie's and play play play. Finally shedding that weight is making him feel so much better about himself. The definition in his face is beginning to come back and his clothes are fitting better every day.

On the other hand, my daughter, who is already pretty thin and tall, is not losing any weight but is growing taller. She still looks healthy and beautifiuli. I had read that eating raw helps your body find where it is supposed to be and where it is most happy. With both kids to measure against, I am finding that to be true. This is a great benefit to Rawkin, for sure!

For me, I had already been losing weight since around April. I started working out and changing some eating habits and was releasing some pounds. About 8 weeks ago I re-injured an ankle and was told by the doctors to stop working out completely. I listened to the doctors for about a month and definitely started to feel the pounds beginning to creep back on. With the Rawkin food, not only have those creepy pounds left but they are taking more with them. The BEST part is that, the scale weight might not be going down as quickly as I would like but my BMI has dropped ramatically. I have dieted, worked out and all sorts of things before but NEVER have I seen my BMI drop so much so fast! Seriously, like 15 points. I have begrudgingly gotten on that scale now for 4 years and that BMI has hardly moved which always blew my mind. It's movin' now, baby! Woot!

Another plus to raw food is watching my kids have more independence. When they are hungry, they can just get a snack. We have Rawkin muffins, Rawkin cookies, Rawkin crackers, plus a large variety of fresh fruits and veggies and sprouted nuts around. They can just go grab an assortment of something to eat and I know it is pretty balanced and very healthy. The minus with that is the mess independent kids leave behind to clean up...lol. I just need to teach them THAT part of independence.

On the menu today was cinnamon rolls, only one left now...will have to make more soon, had an onion dip made from shallots today with flax crackers, cut cucumbers and sliced tomatoes. My son even got some baby carrots in on the action. It was yummy but I added extra lemon for some kick. Dinner was the pizza's which were a big hit in taste. The texture took a bit of getting used to but was good after awhile. Sometimes I miss the programmed yummy fluffy bread. I'm not hungry for it, just miss that comfort feeling of bread. Kids had a piece of raw chocolate after pizza. I think they snacked on muffins and fruit leather today as well as cut themselves an apple and an orange. I enjoyed squeezing a grapefruit and drinking the juice mixed with a bit of water. It was a nice refreshing drink on a hot day. Tomorrow is a slow day so I can think about what to start prepping for next. We have enough to eat for a couple of days so I can rest easy tonight. Rawkin on!

Food Fun for All!

2009-08-12T20:02:00.000-07:00

The kids and I just had so much fun making some new recipes. Our first attempt together at "Easiest Pizza Crust" was not that delicious so I found a new recipe with sprouted barley. It looks SO much better. The kids had a blast cutting up the veggies and whirling it all around watching as it turned into a dough for crust. Then they shaped the dough into round individual sized crusts but each one got to make one their very own shape. My son turned his into the head of a lamb and is going to call it "bloody lamb" when he puts sauce on it-leave it to a pre-teen boy to come up with that, and my daughter made her's into a heart...awww.

We also made a new cracker from red bell peppers, corn, flax, raisins and almond butter. It's a recipe from my class but I tweaked it a bit to tone down some of the red bell pepper taste. Hopefully it will work. I am looking for something that the kids can easily have at school but offers variety from the flax seed cracker. If this works I might make more another time and cut them into shapes for fun.

Seeing as it's summer and lots of great sales on fruit we keep buying tons of strawberries and making fruit leather. This time both kids got very excited and did it all themselves, I only oversaw the details. They had fun adding different fruits, washing, prepping and then we had to decide on our source of protein for the fruit leather. My son ground up flax seeds, sunflower seeds and hemp heart in the coffee grinder. These should be delicious. They actually smelled like candy. I'll get some pictures up tomorrow when they are all done. The kids have the option to take some of the fruit leather and cut them into designs, too. They can make hearts or stars or all kinds of shapes. I want to pick up some fun scissors at a craft store and let them have at it.

Kids are way more likely to eat something that they make themselves, even if it doesn't taste quite how they might have hoped, they are invested in it and the process is a form of "buy-in". They really have fun doing it, too. I think it is somewhat self esteem building and confidence building to know that they can prepare yummy foods out of basic ingredients. They are not only learning measuring and such that we all know kids benefit from when they help us cook but I think with raw cooking, they are also learning tastes, food combinations and nutrition. Everything they are working with is unprocessed, basic food so to know how almond butter, raisins, red bell peppers and such mix together to make something is pretty fascinating.

Earlier today I wanted to duct tape them to the wall because they were bored, fighting and being destructive, now we all kind of like each other again and they helped me do some work I needed to get done. Talk about win-win!

Obviously in process are red bell pepper crackers, pizza crust, and fruit leathers. Also starting the process for more pesto stuffed mushrooms. For dinner we had zuchini through the spiral with marinara sauce on it. It was lovely and filling. The first couple of bites I missed real pasta and then my mouth was used to it and it was delicious. Oh yeah, need to get that eggplant cut up and soaking in salt water. I'm still feeling a little tired today, did not work out to help balance my fatigue. I tried to eat more but really don't have the appetite I used to so it's hard to remember to eat. Caught my daughter eating some organic crackers we had left over in the cupboard, she said she didn't feel like raw food right then. Weight is slowly melting off of me but never quick enough...I am SO impatient. My son is still ticking and clicking but his energy level seems to be more stable, less ups and downs and big extremes. We RAWK on!

Guests and Rawkin Cuisine

2009-08-11T11:47:00.000-07:00

Being a RAWKIN family poses some challenges socially as we entertain on different levels. Over the last few weeks we have experienced some challenges on the social front in staying commited to our RAWKIN lilfestyle and making others comfortable around us with our choices. The first of these challenges is sending children to play dates without making the hosting family feel strange about my children's nutrition.

Having had a child with autism and at one time on a very restricted diet, I have walked this path before. At one time my son was allergic to gluten, dairy, casseine, citrus, peppers, pineapple, chicken, corn and soy-oh yeah-and refined sugar. Yeah, wasn't a lot he could eat but what he was able to eat, we learned to capitalize on. However, we could not trust many foods because SO many foods have hidden ingredients, there was wheat and soy in EVERYTHING. Citrus was another sneakky food. I learned to just pack him food for wherever he went. I suppose raw food will be very much the same. Although most places have fresh fruits and veggies, keeping the protein levels up and stable is important too. I have been packing them full of a protein rich food before they leave and then packing them a few yummy things for the journey.

The next social issue was kids coming here to have play dates. Honestly, we are seeing some rejections. One of my son's friends doesn't want to come here because we eat fruits and vegetables and at his house he eats candy, soda and junk food. He's a nice kid and all but I figure if he doesn't want to come and share in some grapes and cut up apples then he can stay home with his junk food. My son see's it different and it hurts his feelings. He's not willing to compromise on the raw, he really loves being raw, but it is hard on him.

Then there is the movie theatre...yes...popcorn. I folded and we got popcorn. It is a weakness of mine and it has been heavily programmed into my little wee brain that movies and popcorn go together. It really didn't taste that good anymore, more like salted styrafoam but the kids enjoyed it. I found it interesting that my daughter ate a HUGE amount and was still "starving" at the end where with a rawkin meal she is so quickly and easily satiated. Was it the salt? There was no butter on it so it makes me question what triggers are in there for her.

In the last week we had two guests come to our home to visit. The first set of guests posed the most challenge for me. It was my Dad and his wife. They are self proclaimed "Foodee's". I'm not exactly sure what that means except that they really like cooking, cooking shows, cook books, gourmet cooking "stuff" and seem almost happily elitist about it. I'm sure I mean that in a nice way. Hey, their food is delicious! When I first went raw by myself, I was scheduled to go visit them and offered to bring some recipe's to share but was immediately shot down with, "We aren't going to eat any of that raw food stuff!". Okay...nuff said. So, now that the whole family has gone raw, they were scheduled to come to OUR house. Ah ha, so the tables turned.

I thought about it and thought about it and tried to think of the easiest but yummiest hourdevour I could find in my brain. I decided to make pesto stuffed mushrooms. I also brandished some of my delcisious latest variety of flax seed crackers with shredded carrots and shallots in them, and some raw guacamole since it is summer and avocados are irresistable right now. As we sat down, I could tell they were pensive but my step mom was politely and subtly making my Dad give it a try. They actually LOVED it! He loved the guac and flax crackers as well. It prompted me to show off our raw chocolate and fruit leathers which they were deliciously pleased to encounter. I think I heard their brains crack wide open to raw food.

We also recently entertained my daughter's teacher for a "home visit" and found it easy to offer cut apples and almond butter as a nice snack. He was very open and supportive of our rawkin habits. I think that will help my daughter when she goes back to school. We are fortunate that she goes to a charter school with families more prone to natural foods. Having met most of the parents, I do not think anyone else does raw but I don't think it will be seen as freaksih as it would have in a more main stream public school. My son's school might be a different story, although private, not kids from a more natural experience. His friends are more main streamed and McDonald kinda families doing the best they can with what they know having a kid with challenges.

It will be ineteresting to see how the kids will handle these social challenges. Some might criticize me or our family for making more differences then we need by eating all raw. I still say the health benefits that have been proclaimed by others about raw food, the environmentally friendly benefits and the incredible benefits of nutrition it is giving my children and myself are far out weighing the "challenges" of eating different then most others. At least, that's how I feel about it today. Today we are RAWKIN on!

Falafel's are a big hit for me, not so much for the kids. I don't think they like the tahini much. Made more cinnamon rolls so kids are very happy. Was gifted some egg plant and zuchini from some clients so I will be making some egg plant parmesan and spaghetti in the next couple of days. Looking forward to it. Made muffins with peach inside and pureed strawberries dropped on top. They were delicious. Tried to make the toaster tarts and something went wrong. I think I left them in the dehydrator too long. Turned 'em into something else with peanut butter and pureed strawberries. Kids are agreeable but disappointed about the toaster tarts. Not sure what to make next, so much to chose from but my cravings are going away so I need to really begin planning and thinking harder. I'm feeling kind of tired so I may need to tweak my protein intake to match my work out better. Kids seem to be okay.

It's Not So Hard

2009-08-09T23:48:00.000-07:00

Going "raw" has presented many challenges and has forced me to really think about things differently. One of the chief objections that people have for my raw-ed-ness is that they have heard it is "so much work". I would not say that doing this is more work but it is more thought. I don't think that is such a bad thing, either. I think processed food and the marketing that has surrounded it keeps getting more and more thoughtless, more and more unconcscious and more about quick, thoughtless, brain dead, instant gratification meals. Raw is quite the opposite. So here I go swimming up stream.

There are aspects of raw food that are easy, fruits, veggies, salads, etc but then there are aspects that take more thought. In order to plan several recipes, one can not just go pull the ingredients out of the cupboard, add water and go. Several recipes call for sprouted nuts or seeds. Well, who do you think sprouts them? Yep, I do. Sprouting by the way is a lot easier then I first gave it credit. Rinse, cover and go-repeat several times a day and like MAGIC...little sprouts appear. It's kind of fun to watch and if left over time the smallest amount of food multiplies like little aliens taking over your bowls.

For example, to make the muffins my kids seem to like so much, I must first sprout wheat berries. Now, as I mentioned earlier, this is not difficult but it does take planning. At least two days prior to wanting to prepare these muffins I must start the sprouting process. Then I must remain concious enough so that whenever I walk through my kitchen I give them a little rinse once in awhile. This part makes me smile as I sometimes tell them hello...of course I lead a lonely life of a single Mom, work-a-holic and speaking to sprouting seeds is probably not a necessary part of the process.

After achieving sprout I then get to mix the ingredients in a food processor but alas, no muffins today. I roll them into cute little balls and put them in my handy dandy dehydrator and wait one more day. Now we have achieved muffin. Now, none of that was difficult but staying conscious of timing and such was a different use of my energy. Once it came down to the food processor, it only took a few minutes. All in all, I've prepared casseroles that have taken longer when actual time is stacked against actual time but casseroles are a wham bam thank you ma'am kinda meal...boil it, blend it, throw it in a dish, bake it and be done. Rawkin muffins take my brain power.

One of the benefits of rawkin is that the kids become more self-sufficient. My son now gets up and makes his own breakfast and has a variety of options adding dehydrated sprouted buckwheat or sprouted granole mixes into fruit or a muffin or more. My daughter is still switching back and forth between steel cut oats and rawkin breakfast combos like her brother makes. The oatmeal lasts longer and longer as time goes on. The rawkin breakfast is beginning to taste better.

Throughout the day, they snack on raw food items like flax crackers or other recipes with some sort of dip or even have some veggies and dip. My son and I are quite pleased with sprouted almonds because just a few of them satiate the appetite and give lots of energy. I read that the sprouting process wakes up some enzymes that actually help the body digest more of the protein and amino acids so it takes less food to satiate the body. This brings me to my last point that raw food seems to be cheaper or equivelant in groceries.

The initial outlay for rawkin was uncomfortable but now that we are used to it and getting into a rhythym it is actually seeming less then typical or regular groceries. Because we are more satiated, we are eating less. Food is going much farther and we are getting a lot more out of it. The down fall is that rawkin makes more trips to the grocery store to buy fresh produce more often. We are going through our fresh fruits and veggies quicker and need to keep fresh and yummy stuff on hand. I find that keeping a variety of fresh fruits and veggies on hand is helping my mind stay focused and not wander into the processed food it sometimes misses because it is bored or feeling lonely. That's a subject for another day but making sure I can pull out a handful of grapes or grab some quick carrots on the go is helping keep my focus.

I understand from reading books on the subject that our impulsive eating will pretty much go away and the desires will change so I suppose my brain power will change, too. So, I wouldn't say there is a lot more work involved in rawkin but I would say there is more thought. I'm not sure how this will pan out in the scheme of things but I am feeling like it is just going to require a shift in thinking as opposed to thinking more.

Currently in the making are some beanless falafels, some peach muffins and the crust of mini toaster tarts...I am sprouting barley and rice for gourmet pizza crusts (never knew you could sprout rice) and have on hand almond meal from fresh made almond milk and soaked dates and sprouted wheat berries to make cinnamon rolls. Trying to keep the varieties up a bit and kids full and happy.

What is RAW food and for heaven's sake WHY?

2009-08-09T20:05:00.000-07:00

Whenever I tell people that I am or have gone "raw" I usually get contorted faces of disgust wondering why I would ever want to subject myself to such a thing. Many think I am eating raw eggs and meat. I am not eating raw eggs or meat. I have no intention of subjecting myself to food poisoning. Raw food is a way of eating that is all nuts, seeds, fruits and veggies in various forms and combinations.
I was first subjected to "raw" food when I was studying kundalini yoga and sound healing. Most of what I experienced was made in a blender and was a bit too spicy for my taste. I usually went to these events smuggling in granola bars to sustain me as I politely sipped my baby food. I'm not saying what I was served was not good, it probably was delicious but I could not tolerate it for whatever reasons being physical, emotional, spiritual or just plain not my desired food combinations.
Working in the "wellness" industry, I have lots of folks in various stages of seeking health. Very few come in with McDonald's and there is a lot of discussion about nutrition. As I am a larger kinda gal who works out regularly, eats pretty darn healthy but still battles a slower then average thyroid and genetics that really like fat to stay on my body, I prompt a great deal of critiques from my yoga students, pilates students and bodywork clients. Still big and bending like a pretzel don't seem to match in peoples minds, but possible none the less.
I have been all organic or at least mostly organic for years. I believe in the power of nutrition. My son, who has autism, has taught me the power of nutrition in healing. Modifying his diet early on changed his behavior dramatically. Dieting has been in and out of my life more than men or good dates and I have tried everything to break my sugar habit (sometimes successful-sometimes not) from Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, medicine, herbs, standing on my head and whistling dixie.
One day a yoga student told me that her daughter had gone all "raw" and was eating delicious recipes. She asked me if I had ever heard of the program, which I had not and later brought me a DVD of this woman cooking raw food. It looked so easy and delicious but I still had a bad taste in my mouth from kundalini. I held off but it ate at my brain.
Several months later, I decided I would buy some equipment to head into the raw direction. For my birthday, I got a dehydrator. Not your average birthday present but it meant I did not have to commit right away because I had not spent MY money on it. My dehydrator sat in it's box for months. Maybe half a year later, I decided to go on some websites and find a class. I took my tax return money and signed up. At this point, I got the dehydrator out of the box and gave my first go at "going raw".
The class was SO MUCH FUN! I enjoyed learning the basics that I was fumbling over and we made delicious raw italian food. I went 100% raw for about two and a half weeks until my children got a pizza and my will power went down the toilet. The pizza won. It tasted AWFUL but I stomached it and then convinced myself that I could live in both worlds. I took another class and became certified to teach raw food cooking to others. I had so much fun but I found it extremely difficult to prepare raw foods for myself while preparing regular foods for the kids. Not only was I doing twice the work but my old programming went the way of tortellini before it went the way of raw. I tip-toed in and out of raw-ness for the next several months with varying reactions in my body but never stayed there long enough to really go for it.
Recently my daughter seemed to start getting sick on most dairy products which prompted me to re-examine our diet and nutrition. My son's fixation is global warming so we are already mostly vegetarian to reduce our carbon foot print. He has been asking to go vegan for awhile but I did not support it because I wanted to make sure he would get enough protein. With my daughter's intestinal objections to dairy and meat already pretty much out of the picture, I picked up my books on raw food and re-examined the issue.
I called a family meeting and asked the kids if they wanted to go for it and got a thumbs up from my son and a pensive thumbs up from my daughter as long as I still allowed oatmeal and brown rice in case she didn't like what was being served. I agreed and three weeks ago we began our journey as a family into being raw. Being hip and cool to my pre-adolecent children and building my own enthusiasm for this new lifestyle, we have titled our journey together as the RAWKIN ADVENTURE! Did you hear the enthusiasm? We make RAWKIN food! We are a RAWKIN family! You gotta feel it by now.
It has been an interesting three weeks so far with some success and some failure but our commitment grows stronger as our journey goes on. I want to chronicle this journey as we examine how changing our perspective on food, it's preperation, our health and the social impact we face doing it "different" then the S.A.D. (Standard American Diet) and all that society places on it's importance. Take what you like and leave the rest but know that I am NOT preaching nor trying to be idealistic, I am simply trying to do what is best for my kids, myself and be honest about the ups, the downs and the all the way arounds. Hopefully with some humor and a lot of reality.