I feel like my life has kicked into a higher gear but I don't think a whole lot has changed. I know that there is a bit more to juggle with doctors appointment with my kids, which means insurance, authorizations, phone calls, record keeping and gathering and so on. On top of the added "specialists" that both kids are seeing for their different challenges right now, it is the unhappy time for my son's "tri-annual" IEP. This means hours of assessments by the school district, observations, meeting before meetings then the BIG meeting in May. Add all of this into an already really busy life and trying to keep in balance with it all. My business is picking back up because of the time of year and I feel like there are days I can't really catch my breath. I just try to keep moving so I don't sink.
I love eating raw food, my BODY loves eating raw food and my whole family does better eating raw food. This fact being said, raw food takes time to prepare in order to keep it interesting, diverse and balanced. Where in the peep am I supposed to find time for this. My poor kids are getting really used to salads for dinner which isn't a horrible thing and they have fun mixing it up and adding different things.Man, I'll tell you that I reach for convenience wherever I can and sometimes it just ain't rawkin foods. I feel like I am going non stop seven days a week from 5:15am until around 10pm and then I am wiped. I wish there were a raw food drive through. I had heard that Chipotle was a decent place to get good salads and such but now it is my understanding that they have been bought by McDonalds and I do NOT want to support McD's. (yes, I will support the Ronald McDonald Houses but not McD's as a corporation).
I feel so torn and I wish doing what my body loved was easier. I wish I had a personal assistant and a housekeeper. Any suggestions on convenient healthy and fast stuff would be great. We do drop into Whole Foods for a salad on the go or some cheesy kale for car rides.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Monday, February 15, 2010
serious talks about food
Starting out on the lighter notes, the quiche is delicious if you let it dehydrate-which was not in the instructions-and sit for a day. Yesterday, the consistency of the filling left something to be desired although the taste was ok. Today I re-heated in the dehydrator and the filling really did taste almost cheesy. I have to say that one quiche is SO filling. ugh. Next time I would add more spinach. The rawkin fudge is a nice treat and one piece will do ya for awhile. I made more apple cinamon cookies and the cinamon raisin balls...both are a big hit. My son whipped up a nori roll for his lunch today and my daughter made a sandwich out of flax crackers and almond butter. Everyone is quite happy.
As a family, we had a discussion at dinner last night that went on and off until bed. My daughter started it by saying she just wanted to eat the sweet treats of raw food and didn't really like the "entree" parts. We talked about the benefit of the yummy sweet treats, mostly offering protein and some offering fruits but I posed the question: where are the vegetables. Her face went blank as she tried to make dates a vegetable with no success. We talked about all of our favorite sweet treats and couldn't find a single vegetable in one. I talked to my kids about their choices and how they need to find balance. There need to be fresh vegetables and even fresh fruits. While the dehydrated yummy stuff is good and all, it doesn't offer quite the same as a cut up apple or a fresh orange.
My son asked me if most kids were taught to think like this because when he is in school and friends see his lunch or hear him talking about delicious meals they get all grossed out or insulting. I did not know exactly how to answer him. Sometimes I question my own parenting for teaching my kids the way I do. Should they know SO much. Maybe I should just boss them around, prepare their food and lunches and teach them not to question. Maybe I am making life harder for them by teaching them to question so much of their world. I know that some times I would love to be ignorant. In the realm of food alone, I would really love to eat something delicious and processed and loaded with bad things and not know it and believe it is really good for me because it says "vitamin fortified".
Later, my son came to me and asked why he misses processed food SO much. He admitted to all these time where he would sneak food and how he just couldn't stop eating it and he never felt full. I did not shame him at all but instead just asked him to think about that. How much control that processed food had over him. His father got up to almost 400lbs before he had surgery, his father's parents and brother all had to have stomach surgery and some have even gained back ALL the weight they had lost from the surgeries. Unfortunately, he needs to be aware of this, I think. He was a healthy eater for the longest time until we tried a medication for his autism and ocd stuff. The medication helped him so much but seemed to trigger something in him that has never been reversed. He ballooned up and became obsessed with food, only bread and sugary foods.
I want him to grow up healthy and aware without shame or even fear of food. It is such a fine line to walk. Leading by example is one of the best things I can do and I know I struggle with my weight. I always have struggled but I can find a stopping place. My ex husband once pulled 13 bagels out of the freezer and while toasting some ate the rest-all 13 in one sitting. I am not like that. I do eat when I feel overwhelmed or lonely as admitted in prior postings. I am working on finding alternatives to this behavior. I think it is the right thing to do to educate my kids, give them information and help guide their choices but not make them ALL. As they grow older I am supposed to make less and less, let them try their wings while still under the security of my care.
As babies and toddlers, I made all their choices. As young children I made most of their choices or limited the options. As they grow older, they go to friend's houses, they go out with friends and are accountable for themselves. They need to learn to make choices and understand the consequences. If you go to a friend's house and they offer donuts for breakfast, this could cause a consequence of sugar rush and sugar crash. In a child with autism, this is rough and more extreme. In a child with immunity challenges, this has almost always lead to cold sores breaking out. How far did that donut carry you and what are the ramifications beyond the immediate. I try to get them to notice what their choices mean.
Leading by example, I can go get a pizza and drink some soda and be quite happy-temporarily. The next day I feel gross, sluggish and out of sorts. For days I jones for similar jolts of wheat, cheese and sugar. The urges are intense at times and it is hard to get my head clear. I talk to my kids about how I feel and what I go through in order to help them feel less crazy about their own cravings. I can eat that stuff but I have to be willing to face the consequences. I think it's the right thing to do for me and my kids. I also talk about when I am raw and feeling good and when my vision seems clearer and my head seems clearer. I talk about how my body starts to crave what it really needs instead of tastes of processed junk. I talk about my better energy and easier days as well as how much clearer my sleepiness comes at the end of the day signaling to me when it is time to find a stopping point.
It is not easy being a parent. I think we always question what we do, say, teach, etc. I have many who criticize the way I do and some who compliment my process but the truth is, nobody knows how to do it right. I realized LONG ago that no matter how I parented, my kids were going to require therapy. If they never watch t.v. then they would require therapy about how mean I was for culturally stifling them. If I let them watch ALL the t.v. they wanted then they'd go to therapy and talk about how I let them zone out and disconnect. It is all shades of gray. I have NO idea what I am doing but I am doing the best that I can. I think that when it isn't easy and mind numbing it probably is in the right direction but when it feels like it is a constant battle then I might have over shot. Somewhere in the middle? Somewhere in their intelligence, listening to them as much as I want them to listen to me. Hoping for the best turnout possible.
So we have agreed that we will EACH chose a recipe for the beginning of the week that involves vegetables and again for the second half of the week. We have lots of books and on line resources so we can look and plan. They have to HELP prepare their choice and be willing to experiment. The only way we are going to branch out is to try new recipes. We also have to give the recipes more then one try...don't throw it out immediately. Like the quiche, for example, it took a day or two of re-trying to find how much I like it after it set up a while. The sweet treats are easy to like. We also have to find new ways to enjoy the fresh fruits and vegetables. On with the adventure.
As a family, we had a discussion at dinner last night that went on and off until bed. My daughter started it by saying she just wanted to eat the sweet treats of raw food and didn't really like the "entree" parts. We talked about the benefit of the yummy sweet treats, mostly offering protein and some offering fruits but I posed the question: where are the vegetables. Her face went blank as she tried to make dates a vegetable with no success. We talked about all of our favorite sweet treats and couldn't find a single vegetable in one. I talked to my kids about their choices and how they need to find balance. There need to be fresh vegetables and even fresh fruits. While the dehydrated yummy stuff is good and all, it doesn't offer quite the same as a cut up apple or a fresh orange.
My son asked me if most kids were taught to think like this because when he is in school and friends see his lunch or hear him talking about delicious meals they get all grossed out or insulting. I did not know exactly how to answer him. Sometimes I question my own parenting for teaching my kids the way I do. Should they know SO much. Maybe I should just boss them around, prepare their food and lunches and teach them not to question. Maybe I am making life harder for them by teaching them to question so much of their world. I know that some times I would love to be ignorant. In the realm of food alone, I would really love to eat something delicious and processed and loaded with bad things and not know it and believe it is really good for me because it says "vitamin fortified".
Later, my son came to me and asked why he misses processed food SO much. He admitted to all these time where he would sneak food and how he just couldn't stop eating it and he never felt full. I did not shame him at all but instead just asked him to think about that. How much control that processed food had over him. His father got up to almost 400lbs before he had surgery, his father's parents and brother all had to have stomach surgery and some have even gained back ALL the weight they had lost from the surgeries. Unfortunately, he needs to be aware of this, I think. He was a healthy eater for the longest time until we tried a medication for his autism and ocd stuff. The medication helped him so much but seemed to trigger something in him that has never been reversed. He ballooned up and became obsessed with food, only bread and sugary foods.
I want him to grow up healthy and aware without shame or even fear of food. It is such a fine line to walk. Leading by example is one of the best things I can do and I know I struggle with my weight. I always have struggled but I can find a stopping place. My ex husband once pulled 13 bagels out of the freezer and while toasting some ate the rest-all 13 in one sitting. I am not like that. I do eat when I feel overwhelmed or lonely as admitted in prior postings. I am working on finding alternatives to this behavior. I think it is the right thing to do to educate my kids, give them information and help guide their choices but not make them ALL. As they grow older I am supposed to make less and less, let them try their wings while still under the security of my care.
As babies and toddlers, I made all their choices. As young children I made most of their choices or limited the options. As they grow older, they go to friend's houses, they go out with friends and are accountable for themselves. They need to learn to make choices and understand the consequences. If you go to a friend's house and they offer donuts for breakfast, this could cause a consequence of sugar rush and sugar crash. In a child with autism, this is rough and more extreme. In a child with immunity challenges, this has almost always lead to cold sores breaking out. How far did that donut carry you and what are the ramifications beyond the immediate. I try to get them to notice what their choices mean.
Leading by example, I can go get a pizza and drink some soda and be quite happy-temporarily. The next day I feel gross, sluggish and out of sorts. For days I jones for similar jolts of wheat, cheese and sugar. The urges are intense at times and it is hard to get my head clear. I talk to my kids about how I feel and what I go through in order to help them feel less crazy about their own cravings. I can eat that stuff but I have to be willing to face the consequences. I think it's the right thing to do for me and my kids. I also talk about when I am raw and feeling good and when my vision seems clearer and my head seems clearer. I talk about how my body starts to crave what it really needs instead of tastes of processed junk. I talk about my better energy and easier days as well as how much clearer my sleepiness comes at the end of the day signaling to me when it is time to find a stopping point.
It is not easy being a parent. I think we always question what we do, say, teach, etc. I have many who criticize the way I do and some who compliment my process but the truth is, nobody knows how to do it right. I realized LONG ago that no matter how I parented, my kids were going to require therapy. If they never watch t.v. then they would require therapy about how mean I was for culturally stifling them. If I let them watch ALL the t.v. they wanted then they'd go to therapy and talk about how I let them zone out and disconnect. It is all shades of gray. I have NO idea what I am doing but I am doing the best that I can. I think that when it isn't easy and mind numbing it probably is in the right direction but when it feels like it is a constant battle then I might have over shot. Somewhere in the middle? Somewhere in their intelligence, listening to them as much as I want them to listen to me. Hoping for the best turnout possible.
So we have agreed that we will EACH chose a recipe for the beginning of the week that involves vegetables and again for the second half of the week. We have lots of books and on line resources so we can look and plan. They have to HELP prepare their choice and be willing to experiment. The only way we are going to branch out is to try new recipes. We also have to give the recipes more then one try...don't throw it out immediately. Like the quiche, for example, it took a day or two of re-trying to find how much I like it after it set up a while. The sweet treats are easy to like. We also have to find new ways to enjoy the fresh fruits and vegetables. On with the adventure.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Rawkin Fudge
Well, I finally got around to making the quiche filling. It really is pretty good as a combo with the shell and filling together. My daughter did not like the shell alone but together she says it reminds her of the pesto stuffed mushrooms. I might try it again and add basil. The kids are more interested in me making the sweet stuff rather then the other "meal" kinda stuff. I know that the sweet stuff isn't bad for them but it just seems wrong in my head for them to eat banana crepes for breakfast, apple cinnamon cookies for lunch and rawkin fudge for dinner with a salad or some veggies thrown in here and there. I must say that I LOVE the rawkin fudge, though. It is very filling and doesn't suck you in like regular chocolate does. One piece feels so good, maybe two is all that a person can handle. Instead of nuts or frosting, I sprinkle cacao nibs on top because I LOVE them and can eat them in handfuls.
I am prepping for the upcoming week with some more flax crackers and some onion bread crackers. I made the falafels (beanless) and got a great zuke for spaghetti. I bought more pre-made cheezy kale. It's a great snack in the car. I know I can make it myself but it is SO nice just having it there and ready. I have a lot of parsley and cilantro left from the falafel so I am going to try to find something to do with it. I need more of those apple cinnamon cookies and am going to try to make these cinamon raisin balls. They look yummy, too. Oh yeah, my son requested Nori rolls for his lunch so I have the goods for that, too. Off to another week. Happy Valentine's Day! Today I practice self-love with a walk and some yumy food that loves me as much as I love it!
I am prepping for the upcoming week with some more flax crackers and some onion bread crackers. I made the falafels (beanless) and got a great zuke for spaghetti. I bought more pre-made cheezy kale. It's a great snack in the car. I know I can make it myself but it is SO nice just having it there and ready. I have a lot of parsley and cilantro left from the falafel so I am going to try to find something to do with it. I need more of those apple cinnamon cookies and am going to try to make these cinamon raisin balls. They look yummy, too. Oh yeah, my son requested Nori rolls for his lunch so I have the goods for that, too. Off to another week. Happy Valentine's Day! Today I practice self-love with a walk and some yumy food that loves me as much as I love it!
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Late Nights
Well, I finished making everybodies desires last night but it took awhile...I worked until 9pm then started on the apple cinnamon cookies for my son's bake sale, the banana crepes for my daughter and the quiche for me. When I read the dehydrator time for the quiche shells I nearly fell over, they want it dehydrated for 36 hours. One should read ahead. I had all the ingredients and I was going for it anyway. I have to say that it was almost midnight when I started the quiche shells and the process was not hard but MAN was that some serious onion juice!!! The recipe is 3 large onions, 3/4 c ground flax and 3/4 c ground sunflower seeds with some nama shoyu but I forget the exact amount. PHEW...my eyes were burning. To take THAT much onion and slice and grind it means lots of that awful gas comes out and makes the eyes BURN. Then I had to mix it...burn burn burn Then I tried to put it on the sheet and shape it into a shell...it was too wet to do anything. I did the best I could and left it until morning. I went to bed with lots of skepticism about this recipe but when I got back to the dehydrator this morning the shells were easily shaped and I felt much better. It even smells SOOO good. Unfortunately, I won't be able to enjoy a quiche until tomorrow as there is more dehydrating time required but I am anticipating something delicious!!! All in all, despite the awful tears, this might be a pretty yummy and easy thing. Could make a nice cracker or bread. Foiled by the long dehydrating time I am not sure what to eat today. May have to go exploring. I like to save the salad stuff for dinner, it just feels best. Kids have wiped out my crackers-need to make more of those oer the weekend and I am not in the mood for crepes. Hmmmm. My body continues to drop size although I refuse to get on a scale but clothes are loser and more comfortable. My face looks brighter. With only four hours of sleep I don't feel so energetic but I don't feel awful either so maybe that says something. I probably need to eat soon or it all might back fire. I will post a pic of the finished quiche once I get that far. Reviews to come soon. :) I have high hopes!
The Bake Sale
My son's class is having a bake sale on Friday (of course he told me today without proper time to plan). I asked him if he wanted me to make cookies or muffins - yep, I was hoping to have an excuse to make me some chocolate chip cookies - but he started begging me to make the apple cinamon rawkin cookies. These take at least 6-8 hours in the dehydrator not to mention that I am busy the next couple of days and now need to go buy the ingredients and prep it all. I looked him in the eye and asked why he wanted those cookies. He replied, "because my friends think that raw food would be gross without trying it but I bet if they ate these and we did not tell them they are raw food then they would love it and learn that healthier food can still taste good." How can I turn down THAT reasoning. I am off to the store to buy more apples. I figure if we make them small so that they feel more like a cookie then kids will be more apt to try it. I will let you all know the feed back from the bake sale.
I am also going to make the quiche things I found. They look really yummy and my mouth is finally beginning to tire of the spinach potato latke's. Both kids are pretty much raw now. Here's my daughter's lunch menu: orange, apple cinamon cookie, veggie flax crackers with avocado, banana flax crackers with almond butter and raw honey, carrots, and sprouted almonds. How cool is that! My son's looks similar but he was being a pre-adolescent lazy snot head and didn't want to put almond butter and honey on his crackers - said he was too tired but was really busy texting his friend so he can go without. Had apple cinamon cookie, an orange and cheesy kale today so far. I need to eat something more but haven't decided what yet. Salads are our dinner tonight with sunflower seeds, tomato, carrots, olive, corn and spinach. I'm trying a new ranch dressing I found. I need to make almond milk, though so it may not happen with the ranch dressing. I have to say, I don't feel like I am "doing" rawkin, just that it is more natural and easy this time. I think that's helping the kids, too.
I am also going to make the quiche things I found. They look really yummy and my mouth is finally beginning to tire of the spinach potato latke's. Both kids are pretty much raw now. Here's my daughter's lunch menu: orange, apple cinamon cookie, veggie flax crackers with avocado, banana flax crackers with almond butter and raw honey, carrots, and sprouted almonds. How cool is that! My son's looks similar but he was being a pre-adolescent lazy snot head and didn't want to put almond butter and honey on his crackers - said he was too tired but was really busy texting his friend so he can go without. Had apple cinamon cookie, an orange and cheesy kale today so far. I need to eat something more but haven't decided what yet. Salads are our dinner tonight with sunflower seeds, tomato, carrots, olive, corn and spinach. I'm trying a new ranch dressing I found. I need to make almond milk, though so it may not happen with the ranch dressing. I have to say, I don't feel like I am "doing" rawkin, just that it is more natural and easy this time. I think that's helping the kids, too.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
empty vs full vs satiated
Feeling conflicted today over feeling empty and wanting to feel full. I've been doing good rawkin, feeling so much more energy and natural in my body but today I am feeling the desire to stuff and be "full". I don't know if it is a level of anxiety that I would like to numb or just feeling overwhelmed a bit with regular life stuff and wanting to distract myself or even reassure myself with feeling "full". Not really desiring a specific taste-not cheese or cereal or anything which is probably one of the only reasons I haven't acted on it. I couldn't decide what to stuff myself with. How odd it is to live life more aware of the "feelings". The stuff to numb and empty means stuff again mentality is hard to get rid of. I liked that unconscious part of eating. I'm not sure what to do about it. I guess awareness is the first step. I wonder if I can handle staying fully conscious today.
I don't say that flip or glib, it is a great coping mechanism to check out once in awhile. I kid you not, there are times that it is safest for me to go a bit numb. After a rough IEP meeting for my son, after some intense medical testing on one of the kids or an ER visit or even after one of my son's bad days where he is unmanageable, I thank the higher power for coping mechanisms. Right now, my son accidentally whacked his friend and sent him to the ER, I smell something dead in my garage but there are no rats in the traps, my daughter found a worm on the maple syrup this morning, I have a book's worth of paper work for an upcoming medical specialist visit for my daughters unresolved issues that she claims are getting worse, it's a short month with less clients and I'm not sure how I will make rent (but that's projecting too far forward), got a weird phone call last night that I think is a scam but is the second time it has been tried on me for money-could be possible identity theft involved, I need to do my taxes, the school district is working on setting up my son's tri-annual IEP testing and life is just dishing out some regular ole crap. Nothing life threatening. Just one of those days where there are no clients this morning to distract me and I would rather stuff then feel. PHEW...writing helped. I may eat one of those mint chocolate truffles and see if it helps. Chocolate is good for you, ya know. I will just keep breathing...that helps too.
I don't say that flip or glib, it is a great coping mechanism to check out once in awhile. I kid you not, there are times that it is safest for me to go a bit numb. After a rough IEP meeting for my son, after some intense medical testing on one of the kids or an ER visit or even after one of my son's bad days where he is unmanageable, I thank the higher power for coping mechanisms. Right now, my son accidentally whacked his friend and sent him to the ER, I smell something dead in my garage but there are no rats in the traps, my daughter found a worm on the maple syrup this morning, I have a book's worth of paper work for an upcoming medical specialist visit for my daughters unresolved issues that she claims are getting worse, it's a short month with less clients and I'm not sure how I will make rent (but that's projecting too far forward), got a weird phone call last night that I think is a scam but is the second time it has been tried on me for money-could be possible identity theft involved, I need to do my taxes, the school district is working on setting up my son's tri-annual IEP testing and life is just dishing out some regular ole crap. Nothing life threatening. Just one of those days where there are no clients this morning to distract me and I would rather stuff then feel. PHEW...writing helped. I may eat one of those mint chocolate truffles and see if it helps. Chocolate is good for you, ya know. I will just keep breathing...that helps too.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Conversion Complete
Well, my daughter has agreed to go "all raw" as soon as the groceries are gone in the house that are not raw. We still have some vegetarian chicken patties, some shredded cheese and other things lying around that she would like to be responsible for so as not to waste anything. I blame it all on those apple cinamon cookies. She LOVES them. It has restored her faith in rawkin food. She keeps wanting whatever I am eating and when I deny her more then a taste so as to preserve my supply for truly rawkin meals, she gets very offended. I am looking forward to getting my head into some more rawkin recipe's again. I am glad we are all converting back to raw. Leaving one in the "cooked" world is more expnsive and more confusing to us all. It's great that the whole family will be on the same page.
Today was much of the same...apple cinamon cookie for breakfast with my yummy latke sandwich for lunch and a big yummy salad for dinner. Easy day, really. I still have probably six more latkes left so I can't imagine the need to make anything new yet. I will probably need to make more flax crackers soon for the kids and the fruit leather is a big hit for packed lunches so I may have to make more of that soon, too.
Today was much of the same...apple cinamon cookie for breakfast with my yummy latke sandwich for lunch and a big yummy salad for dinner. Easy day, really. I still have probably six more latkes left so I can't imagine the need to make anything new yet. I will probably need to make more flax crackers soon for the kids and the fruit leather is a big hit for packed lunches so I may have to make more of that soon, too.
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